Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Down days

Have you had one of these recently, we all have that at some point, I'm having one today. BlogTv wasn't as exciting as normal last night, I think it was due to the fact I was tired and starting my down day then. I'd lost a few big pots playing poker and it was frustrating to have played well and still lost.
I suppose theres degrees of a downness isn't there,
- You can feel a little narked about something going on but really its not effecting you.
- You have days when you cant be bothered to do anything with yourself and just battle on because you know that 'you have to' or that your told from someone most likely parents that you have to do things a certain way.
- Then you have the days in which you feel so down you can't get out of bed do anything, would rather spend the day in your own company because that way you can't annoy anyone and they can't annoy you.
Today I'm just annoyed because I can't seem to find any passion to do anything, I've got a good video idea but once again the passion is deserting me which is a shame, but this proves more to me that I need to carry on with my break. I know some will say 'But you made a video surely the break is over?' No I'm still on a break from posting a lot etc. That idea was just fresh and i knew if i made a video about it it'd come out well. That's the first time I had a bit of a desire to do something and well I think the end product has come out very well.

I've made a decision about gatherings because people have asked recently are you going to any this year or even next year. I think Summer in the City was my last gathering, I still want to meet people in the real world, and gathering have giving me the chance to travel so much more than I would have. Its nice seeing new people and people Ive met before and cherish but, ill just get people to come and see me from now on and ill go see them because I want to :D

Right im going to stop myself from writing anymore because if I don't ill go on forever!

Ben x

Friday, 25 September 2009

Thursday, 24 September 2009


i NEVER forget what people do for me
but i remember more what they dont

So I might be making a comeback.

Something I really don't want to do is come back and for lots of people to be like 'Left for attention what a complete dick' Because I really didn't really really really didn't. It wasn't a stunt to get more subscribers or anything I just wanted to take a nice break, and when I announced I was leaving it was likely I wouldn't come back because at the time my mind was set on the whole thing.
Over the last month and and half I have talked to a lot of people about the situation and what i need to do next in order to be happy making YouTube videos again.
Yesterday after a bit of thought I decided to make a video that would be good enough to come back with.
I scripted it which I enjoyed but as a certain Ricky Gervais says there is NOTHING more exciting than the idea of what I could do. So over the next day or two I will upload a video that I hope a lot of you will really enjoy and make you happy that your still subscribed.

I am really worried that people will be annoyed that I've come back so soon BUT at the same time its my channel my life and I can live it the way I want, but at the same time if people that are loyal to me get a bit frustrated with my antics then it'll be extremely disheartening to see that happen, so that's the fear. I know lots of people will be happy to see me return so soon and that is an amazing feeling, the fact I've got over 1700 people still subscribed despite knowing how i feel is just brilliant.

Lets just wait and see :)

Ben x

Thursday, 17 September 2009

I haven't got my wallet

I haven't brought my wallet to college today, and thinking about it I didn't bring it yesterday either. I do feel a little lost without it. It's got cards and money in that I do like having with me for security if nothing else, knowing I have them and somebody else doesn't.

Like for example when my phone isn't on my person I felt quite lost without it. ALTHOUGH when I went to Spain in July I didn't take it out with me anywhere I just left it sitting in our apartment. I suppose it was one way of been on holiday because when at home I always have my phone close to me.

When I was younger I had a little sponge football from the World Cup in 1998 and I took it everywhere and I guess that was the thing back then that I'd always have with me because it sort said who I was. Football obsessed, I still am now but just without as much opportunity. I suppose in life there are things we just can't live without and we joke saying 'I'd DIE without my phone' and things like that when in reality I'd just find something else to get hold of people with and move on with my life

What 5 things RIGHT NOW in your life can't you live without?
(I could live without them but like them close)
Mine are:

You'll notice Youtube isn't on the list. 6 months ago it would have been near the top strange eh?

Write a blog about the topic i've talked about and let me know when you've done it because im interested!

Or just leave a comment :)

Ben x

Wednesday, 16 September 2009


Come along!

I've blogs coming soon :D I HOPE.

Sunday, 6 September 2009

What to do now.

Hello :)

Thank you for the response to my last blog :D it was really helpful. You all had different opinions which was good, is wasn't all of you saying YES DO IT! which is good.

But i've decided what to do.
BLOGTV: Mondays 7.30 til whenever, But im not going to say im doing it every week because if one week I dont feel like it but ive said to you all im doing it I dont want to be a let down. Im starting tomorrow at http://www.blogtv.com/people/doctorbenjy

So yeah I hope you think thats a good idea let me know. <3

YOUTUBE: Im carrying on with the break until I don't know when. Mainly because if I suddenly appear back people will call me an attention seaking like fucker, something I really can't be bothered to deal with. What I do want to do though is make a thank you video that I can have up for about week, because I've had an amazing response over the last few weeks which is really nice, and I want to say thank you to people.
I do want to know though, is it a good idea, or do you think I should just leave it?

I can say though that im looking forward to tomorrow and blogtv :D

Ben x

Saturday, 5 September 2009


This isn't a comedy blog.

I had a great Birthday for those that wondered, today personal was hard I got smashed on the head accidentally with a car boot quite a lot so got some mild concussion and it was the most painful experience ive had in a very long time.

So over the last 2 weeks i've had a lot of support from all sides, from people I didn't expect to get support from and more support from people I didn't expect.
So many people have told me not to leave and to carry on, to make videos for myself. And as much as I love the people ive met and the subscribers that watch my videos. I simply wasn't enjoying it. I refuse to come back to soon.

Of course theres aspects of Youtube that I miss.

So I want you people that read this to help me and although I half expect to know the answers already, take everything you've seen in videos and read about my situation and answer honestly.

- Should I do one blogtv show every 2 weeks?
- Should I post one video a month until I feel I can produce more?

Just answer in the comments :) (Yes Yes) (No No) (Yes No) (No Yes)
Thank you

In other news I might have different projects on the go aswell.
Me and Lex are planning to do a podcast that we've spoken about for sometime which I actually think would turn out really well. Basically its called DoctorDuck, and the format is unknown, but will/should be good :)
I go back to college on Wednesday which is going to be strange but fine I suppose.

Also, I really really really want to make a thank you video, the support I've had recently has actually been really overwhelming, some messages and comments make me happy cry which is sweet i know lol. But I do worry that if i make a video people will get all 'You said you were leaving you fucking attention seeking twat' And it'll be a bit =/ I know its my channel and could do what I like but I do value what people think.

Comment and let me know what you think on everything

Ben x

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Summer in the City.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY 1st of September never forget it!

So on the Saturday just gone it was Summer in the City 2009, I love that i've put 2009 purely because of the 2010 announcement.
And considering Im leaving Youtube for there to be such a big turn out just because I was leaving well I was over come, i've never had such a decent leaving party.

But I wasn't really myself, I felt quite shy not my normal self, I had a conversation with Gary and he said its because I didn't really have anything to promote which was true, I didnt need to sell myself, if I didn't leave id have pushed myself a bit more. I was suprised to how many people knew me aswell, I still find it weird that im known, I had lots of people come up to me and be like YOUR DOCTORBENJY. Im like yes I am.
But I was sad walking away apparently people want to talk to me on skype about the situation so we'll see if that happens. When I was walking away from the Gathering I bumped into Paul (CheekyChen) and we had a chat for a while, because he noticed I was on the brink of tears. I know poor Benjy. I really didnt want to watch away from the gathering with regrets but I did, theres so many people I wish I had more confidence with to talk to, its rare for me to be like that but I felt a bit awkward around people, I think a few people think I blanked them which I really didn't mean to do. Lots of people tried to convince me to stick around and make videos but its just not right at the moment. To sum up SITC was a plus 3 :P I know im still rating things like that LOL.

Teoh the sly little bugger has been all around the world it seems getting people to say nice things about me and make a video, which he posted today. Its made me cry. Not impressed!
But their are lots of people in it that I love. Im surprised Kristina is in it (although shes no idea who I am, I intend to contact her :D because i feel i should be like HEY YOU DONT KNOW ME!!) She was actually the first fiveawesomegirl I subscribed to. And Alex had nice things to say about me which was really nice :) I sent him a message recently which part of me regrets so intend to send him another one to clear the air i suppose. I love Teoh for this video, Oooooo im calling him Teoh haha TINO TO YOU NORMAL FOLK.
So thank you SO MUCH to everyone who was in it :D

I've had a good couple of days.

Soon im going to start doing COMEDY BLOGS. I hope you'll like them. Let me know in the comments if you think its a good idea. Or if you met me and want to talk to me more add me on skype: BenjyCarr (I whore this out far to much Im a stalkers dream and not just because im fit.) TALK TO ME MORE.

Ben :)