Friday, 28 November 2008

Friday going on Saturday

Ive just noticed my titles are now just the days I post blogs.

So yes hello, I've had an up and down day today, Elly's gone to Blackpool, so she wasnt at college today and I wont see her til Monday, I know 4 days or so and Im blogging about it, also Jones has gone to see his brother on the weekend I need a camera man lol!

Why do you need a camera man Ben?
Well funny you didnt ask, I've got a new video idea, I think it's partly inspired by Ian's featured video but im not totally sure lol, I suppose the Youtube critics will be the judge of that.
I'll paste the script in here, only a first draft with a few camera movements.


"Opening shot,
Walking shot, towards/away from nothing/a road
Next shot is me, Walking Running Biking out of our drive
Who knows what we might find?
What we might see.
Who we bump into.
Sometimes we go on journeys without knowning our destination.
What weather we find is undecided
How long we might be
But something thats amazing about the human race is
We Will Get There.
With abit of hard work determination will power and support of others.
So next time you face something difficult, think about the journey, and reach a destination
Good luck"

We'll see how this goes, plus, my Dad brought home a rather good camera with WIDESCREEN on it so i'll be using that so the quality might be abit better, we shall see :)

Speak Soon


P.S. I wasnt sarcastically funny once in this post.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Its Wednesday

Im sitting at college
I feel better for getting everything out in the open yesterday in a blog.

Maybe things will get better :)

Speak Soon

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Maybe I can be a bit honest with things....

So yes, theres some things people will be surprised to find out about me and well its about time I tell people a few of them.

Im shy soooooo Shy
At college im the confident guy thats making joking cheering people up been witty and sarcastic, but really, its a front. A scared front that people might one day find out this side of me, and Im scared that if i show people it I might be treated differently. So i'll keep doing this until I find confidence and right now I dont know where thats going to come from, but ill keep you updated.

I worry about everything and anything.
I cant help myself if someone tells me something ill worry about them subconsciously all day and night, at the moment ive been speaking to lots of different people about times there going through and now im worrying about all of them from my sister to someone in american I've not known for very long.

Ive had to quit counselling.
I know exactly what your thinking 'Ben/Benjy' was recieveing counselling! Wrong

I gave it out, to teenagers and adults going through difficult times with family and friends husbands wifes boyfriends and girlfriends, through an independant company which ill keep unnamed that you can only get to through childline connections careers and other adult and teensites. I did it unpaid for 2 and abit years now. And this week. I stopped.
Why? because i was getting confronted with people who were me. And when you see yourself through someone else you have to get out sooner rather than later. And I got scared. Simple as that. Nobody knew this until you people that just read it seconds ago. Keep it quiet :)

I consider leaving Youtube everyday and deleting my account and all the people I know from it, getting rid of facebook and whatever else so I cant be tracked even getting a new phone so I cant be found. Why because in the back of my mind and all around the inside of my head I can't figure out what im looking for in life, and Youtube sometimes is a barrier to that and its hard to explain what i mean. One day ill talk in full extent of that. If i deleted everything. This is the only thing that would remain.
The reason I never delete it and forget about it, because of the people I know from it and

Im still not over losing my Grandpa, and everyone thinks I am, im still not over losing my Grandad, I lost one when i was 1 and the other when i was 17 and that means nothing the distance between doesnt mean I missing one more than the other. I want to be in the same room as them both one more time. Because to my knowledge i never have been, and I always tell people only my Grandpa's died and effected me, but losing my Grandad as hurt me forever and everytime I even think or talk about him I just cry, im talking to my girlfriend on msn now, and im crying i dont even think she can tell and i dont dare click to open the convo as i dont want to see myself cry. I miss them so much. Helpless.

I've lived a secret life for a year and a half. I cant tell anyone about it and dont dare.
Im to scared and have to much to risk.
I cant believe ive ever posted this much to the world. But i guess its to late now, i never delete what i want to say in this. I dont even know who reads this, ive no idea. I dont if one person checks it every 2 weeks or people are checking back everyday.

To some people this blog wont have made sense to them and they'll be thinking HOW? WHEN? HOW? WHEN? WHAT?

And lets just say im good at keeping secrets.


I have to go x

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Youtube Live!

I've just finished watching Youtube Live at 3am, but in my opinion it was worth it,
Plus Points:
The Fact it was live they could have easily recorded this!
Fred, Smosh, Buck, LisaNova, TayZonday etc etc all been there, they didnt have to go
Katy Perry <3 lol
The fact I knew I was 1 of many millions watching it!
The stream was TOP NOTCH!

It wasnt great content, abit patchy in parts
Akon and Katy Perry didnt really want to be there lol you could see in there performances

Thats in no more negatives from my view.

People need to realise what Youtube just achieved, I know it'll come under alot of stick from everyone thats not American because it didnt have Nigahiga KevJumba DaveDays SxcPhil etc
Did it need them? What would they have added? Not much more in my opinion.

But they streamed a live show which has just made history in the world of the internet!

People will talk about this event years from now believe me.

Im part of Youtube im part of whats just happened its amazing to think. Appriciate it :)


Night all

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Its like google know!

Wheelie Bin Cleaner


Friday, 14 November 2008


Ive been waiting a long time for 'When Do You Feel Alone' to hit 30000 it just has =D

Thank you to everyones support with it :)

Speak soon

Monday, 10 November 2008



I was wondering if you'd like to get involved in my first ever collaboration video, as id love for you to be in it =D, if you have the time.
Im asking the question
What are you looking forward to?

Make it a 10 second or less clip of yourself and send as a WMV file to

I'll set a deadline of next Monday, the 17th of November

Hope to see you soon ;)


P.S. Try to avoid Christmas

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Shes 11

My sister came out with a classic line today
Just remember she's 11

Beth: I'm gonna have to get some new goalkeeper gloves you know!
Mum: No not today
Beth: O great thanks mum ruin my football career

Genius lol

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Attack of the wheelie bins...

I mentioned in a blog a long time ago i thought about this

Today i filmed it edited it and was pleased with it

so go watch it =D

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

I've an idea...

I want to do a collab video!
As I never have before, and well I see it as abit of a challenge =D soooo..
What to do one on one.. well i had a few idea's the main was in to title it THINK.

And have people say what their grateful of in the current world climate etc because people in third world countries dont have a lot as we all know and well young people are always told that they dont know their born etc, but in my opinion I know exactly what I've got wether i treat it right or appriciate it is a different matter, Im grateful i get to see my family everyday etc etc.

On the other hand, I have an idea to title it I Can't Wait For....
And get people to say what they cant wait for..(did i really need to type that bit lol) well i have now and the simple task of deleting it is to much for me.

Im starting to like the second one actually. Ill send out some invitations to be in it soon =D... i hope people go for it :)

Right actually if you read this and want to get involved
10 second clip of I Can't Wait For...
and send it to
Try stay away from Christmas though lol unless you cant contain yourself

Speak Soon

Monday, 3 November 2008

Remember i said i wouldnt mention Elly......i lied

Me : Im gonna start acting like a blind person at college
Elly: Dont, people will say are you going out the blind guy
Me: Then they'll say ah she must be
Elly: hahahahahahaha OMG WAIT *punches me a million and 1 times!*

The look on her face was genius, if only i could have seen it =P

Speak Soon

50th Blog

A little landmark blog, im sitting in college, quite pleased with the fact ive done all my work =D

Woop Woop!

Speak Soon


Love my new sign out!!