Monday, 23 January 2012

Excuse me Sir.

Evening all,

So tomorrow I embark on a course to become a SIA (Security Industry Authority) steward, it'll be something totally different for me but something I'm looking forward too. It's effectively the first step to other things for me it can lead to plenty of different avenues and will open doors I'd previous never even gone towards.

It lasts 4 days 9-5, I've not really had a solid routine for ages so I'll enjoy getting up at 7 every day for the week. I'm actually going it with my Dad and a couple of his work colleagues, every summer Great Yarmouth puts on a weekly fireworks display for free for locals and tourists, I've stewarded it for the last 5/6 years but never had any official training as it's not required. My Dad thought it'd be a good idea if a few of his team did the course to be better prepared and roped me in to take part too! 

I'm quite nervous, it's run by three former army officers and I can't be doing with doing press ups every 5 minutes because I've chatted back sarcastically/comedically, but hey I guess I'd deserve that sort of treatment if I were to give them a dose of Ricky Gervais. 

Anyway I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow night :)


Sunday, 22 January 2012

Don't force it | Finally got it! (Youtube)

Although I said I'd post on this blog a lot more, and well if you look at it statistically, I have, I've come to the conclusion not to force these. It'll become boring and tiresome to do, and I want to enjoy blogging not find it a pain at the end of each day. Credit to Elly, she's done really well, everyday since the beginning of the year!

I'm currently watching 127 hours, basically it's about a man who has to cut off his own arm to escape from it being trapped in a rock. It's not the greatest prep for a blood test tomorrow but it makes my blood being taken look like being cover in feathers.

I've been writing videos this week, I've got a couple that I think I'll post soon. I think I've finally come up with something to base my channel around, it's only taken 3/4 years of any old shit to get to this point but I may have a little bit of a niche.
I'm literally going to ONLY do collabs on my channel. Not those collaborations that consist of me saying, 'What is your happiest childhood memory?' for 25 people to give thought through answers, no no no. I'm going to write little 1/2 minute sketches and be like the answer to all of your problems (COMEDICALLY) . I think the art of collaborations has kind of evaporated in recent memory. I want people new and old of youtube to be part of the videos, whether I know you or not, the main point though will be quality. IT HAS TO BE A GOOD VIDEO. I won't be afraid to tell people, 'your end isn't good enough'. Quality control is one the most important aspects of Youtube.

So there's the plan, collaborations. I'm going to write every single one or at least write with the person involved. I think it'll be good, I've got a few people in mind that I'd like to be involved :)



Saturday, 14 January 2012

Saturdays 3 o'clock | Football a taboo?

My favourite time of the week, (along with Elly coming round on Friday evenings)

I just get a buzz from it, the lead up on a Saturday, I wake up thinking oooo what games am I watching today, much to Elly's disgust but it's just something I live for. My love for the time is strange really, I don't think there are many people in this world who love a time so much, I imagine football fans around the country do have similar feelings but not many of those people read my blog. (At least I think that's the case)

Today I'll be watching a cross between Liverpool and Norwich, both clubs very close to my heart and both in the same division for only the 3rd time in my footballing lifetime. It's exciting, both teams with different goals, one wants to be at the top of the division although that's a long way away from happening right now. The other, Norwich, they want to remain in the division and push on for the future because of it's financial benefits.

I've always avoided blogging about football on my internet personality profiling sites. - Is that even a sentence that makes any sense?

The reason is purely because I don't want to talk about things that interest a minority, football is almost a taboo on Youtube. People go on about Doctor Who and Harry Potter till it's coming out of their arse and I get it rammed down my throat on twitter/youtube everyday, it's practically unavoidable. Thats something that bugs me about Nerdfighters and I'll blog about them tomorrow actually, or at least the 'cult' of people it engulfs, so I'll expect some backlash tomorrow. Although I don't intend on offending anyone, just making an opinion more official. I've thought this about them for a while, I've just never written it down.

This has been quite a mixed blog but it's done now, time to role on the football!


Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Youtube Subscription Numbers

Evening blog fans!

So if you believe what Youtube say.. they're going to remove all the dead accounts from Youtube.
- Read more about it here-

Meaning, if you've had an account for a number of years and not signed in without uploading videos it will disappear forever, until someone takes the name. This in turn means for people that have been on the site for a long time, a dip in numbers in inevitable. I imagine I'll be losing close to 1000 subscribers, maybe more maybe less. Quite frankly, I'm cool with it.

I don't like mis-selling myself, I'd rather be seen to have 400 subs and every one of those 400 watching more times than not, than kid myself with 3000 who don't. I might actually feel more encouraged to make videos knowing my 'real' audience figures. It'll be really interesting to see the big dogs of 2006/7 and how they cope. Some Youtubers like 'Smosh' have been around since the start so will surely be expecting a HUGE drop in numbers, into the 10's of thousands I'm sure.

A lot of people are really worried I think.. but I don't really know why. It's like you're lying to yourself if you believe you have 50,000 people watching, when in reality you only have 10,000.

Over my time on Youtube I've been one to 'quit' and RETURN more times than that horrible bitch Joan Rivers has had plastic surgery. The majority of the time it was because I just felt disillusioned with the site, I felt like my figures didn't speak for how good my videos were. Arrogantly so? Absolutely.

Now times are very different and most people will tell you people don't have time for Youtubers like me, I just talk to the camera to make people laugh, nothing more, nothing less. I don't do sketches or parodies or music, I just talk. If people like me then they're subscribing for me, not because someone's told them too. I've never had a hand out really, once or twice I've had bumps but not to the levels of most. This is why I'm welcoming the subscription drop, because I know I've earn't what I've got. I doubt many people on Youtube can say that.

Anyway I'll be uploading soon all being well, I've got a few ideas and me and Elly might be doing another series :)

Give me your thoughts on the subscription downer, I want to know what you think!

Much Love

Monday, 9 January 2012

Youtube Death

Hey gang,

I thought I'd delight your eyes with some more words on screens. Today something horrible happened a Youtube death took place. OK OK nobody actually died but a little piece of old school Youtube did. I think I've often been accused of trying to cling onto 'Old School Youtube' far too often, and those people are probably correct but I don't mind. I just miss how new it was, I miss my own personal drive for the site, I'd make videos about basically nothing for the thrill of the upload and nothing more. Now it's more of a viral campaign every time you upload, tweeting the video and begging for a retweet to increase traffic, facebooking it  so even my 'real life' friends see it and even Google+ get's my attention post upload now.

Anyway I spoke of death moments ago and I refer to something Barry Aldridge facebooked.

'Not going to use Real Name No Gimmicks in my videos anymore, it's time to move on.'

It's not a big thing to most I'm sure (ALTHOUGH IT SHOULD BE) but to me and many others from the original Youtube days Barry had captured and held onto a phrase which made him recognisable, quotable. It brought a smile to my face to see him say it as an introduction to each video and it'll be a shame to see it go. It's  a shame that even Barry feels like it's stagnant now, I disagree but who am I to comment. To me it's up their with Bruce Forsyth's 'Nice to see you, too see you nice!' or that spotty kid on the tv adverts for B&Q 'You can do it when you B&Q it!' - Doesn't quite work when trying to run a marathon, it'd slow you down if anything.

I hope Barry comes up with something equally iconic to introduce himself.


Real name, No gimmicks.


The hardest thing about blogging is surely the routine of doing so... I'm currently railing a friend of mine playing some on-line poker for some big bucks, and his routine of playing is barely a routine, it's a freelance job.

I find the biggest challenge is engaging people with this blog, they'll be days when I write 1000's of words over things that aren't that important. They'll be others that are short to the point and more likely just act as guides to what I've done that day for me to mull over in 5 years time.

What I will have a rant about is the come down of Christmas. I'm never ready for the decorations to go back into the loft for another year. Although the Christmas spirit struggles to keep a firm grip on me these days I still have an air of sadness in my voice when I say, 'Are you putting the tree away?!'

I guess it's the harsh reality of life snapping at you, saying, 'Do something which is worthwhile again.'

This Christmas was the first I'd spent at home, is was just simple, the most simple Christmas I've ever had in fact. It was the first December 25th I'd ever spent in my own bed. I'd usually be going away to further a field family houses or shoved downstairs to make way for older family member. This so I could 'enjoy' the adventure of Downstairs. It was nice to wake up and see my own walls and posters surrounding me. It made me think about the future and how I'd ideally like to spend Christmas and it's 100% going to be around family once I've one of my own. I'm sure some of you might be reading this fearing for Elly, but it's not something that particularly scares us or is avoided in conversation it's just something that is romantically and spontaneously inevitable if that's possible. I'm pretty sure in the future the future for me will be a interesting discussion on this blog.

Anyway cya


Saturday, 7 January 2012

It's never too late!

Ok so I nearly missed the deadline!

Today was my Mum's birthday, we went out for a nice meal that played a few games at home, 'who am I' was a classic, where you stick a post-it note on your head after someone else has written a name on it. You then take it in turns to see if you can work out who you are.

Being the evil son and boyfriend I am.... I had to pick someone for Elly first so I went for the rather obvious choice.. Elmo.

Anyway she actually got it! So when it came to picking someone for Mum I upped the ante!

The Banker from Deal or No Deal! It only took her about 45 minutes to work it out but lolz (can't stand that word) were had.

Take care.


Friday, 6 January 2012

Elly Friday!

So today is Elly Friday! It's not quite the public holiday but it's still good. You might want to know the deep origin behind 'Elly Friday' and how it all came about over times of recession, drug abuse and riots but the truth of the matter it... she just always comes round on Fridays. 

So there she is lying next to me reading Lee Evans' book.

I'll look over now and see what reaction I get...

She said 'What?' that was somewhat expected.

Actually something interesting has just come from Lee Evans' book a quote I'll retort in text now.

"Now I know that you have to reject the sort of closed thinking crap they want to force feed you in school, the narrow idea that you should keep your head down. never speak up and get a proper job"

In reference to him going to art college, now art college is never something I seriously contemplated during my education years, you'd find it hard to believe that I was quite shy at school really, I didn't want to make a big show of myself, I wasn't someone who relished the opportunity to delight my fellow school pals with a discussion about how Bill Shakespeare captures the emotion of Macbeth with some good nouns. I'd rather sit back and just let everyone else go first before building up a bit of courage to make a fool of myself with some comedy. Hardcore comedy. 

Anyway I'll leave you with some feelings of some insecurity from my past and bid you farewell.



Thursday, 5 January 2012

Get it in early

Morning, well it's quite literally afternoon but I had the desire to write this an hour ago which meant I had the 'morning' thought.

Can you get a more pointless sentence than the one you've just read?

So I thought I'd blog early making sure I keep up with this, I've stuck it on my 'chrome taskbar' so I'm bound to do it more often if only because of procrastination. I had a quick look at my previous blogs and well I did it at college generally and quite a lot! College is now a distant memory for me and one I look back on with love and loathing.

The love part comes nice and simply from meeting Elly and never looking back. (Neck issues)

The loathing is down to the fact I hated every minute I was there, not because I didn't get on with people it's just a lot of my friends had moved on to University or work and I was sat there thinking I can more than likely achieve my goals in life without an A Level in PE. I guess I just didn't have the bollocks for a long time to admit that I could leave whenever I wanted too. I guess I thought education was something that HAD TO BE DONE, as when you're at school you're told that without an education you'll achieve nothing in life. Well I find this hard to believe because those success stories you hear of on the news and reality television, they don't come about from getting a masters in psychology, sure it might be a fantastic aid and a stepping stone but people get to where they want to be through hard work and sacrifice. I hope I can look back on this next year and think..'I've achieved something I didn't think I would'.

Anyway time to get proactive, I'm going to sit in my pants and play Call of Duty for an hour.

Much Love


Wednesday, 4 January 2012


A few years ago everyone on Youtube had a blog, now it's all websites and tumblr and well I'm going to revert back to my blog! It's pretty standard really run of the mill you might say, but I'm going to try do it most days.

I've said this before and failed but I guess it's still good I try and make goals. Elly (my wonderful girlfriend) has just started doing it again and it's inspired me to give it a go.

So welcome back or welcome for the first time! Leave a little comment to let me know you'll be reading!