Right I wrote in my last blog this would contain 2 things both of which I have forgotten so ill go back and check then return as if me going and checking never happened although your reading this so know it did and I've created a big world of lies and I've no realised this is irrelevant although I'm not going to delete it as it makes it look as if i had more to write.
Emotion and the fact its good to cry.
Recently we've been talking about stereotypes in Media Studies at college, and it made me think that we do live in a world where we think about them a lot and judge people because we aren't open enough to be honest and say what we think, we'd rather tag along to something that isn't true so we can feel more secure and 'fit in' with the group or class. In recent years, decades we have over come stereotypes i think, but people find it hard to adjust to things that are different. We were asked to come up with things that are stereotyped for Males and Females for example:
Strong : Weak
Blue : Pink
Sex : Love
Then one girl in the class said, 'Twat:Girl' trying to be funny, i just thought no, you cant use a past experience of yourself or a friend and then try and use it as a stereotype and plant onto other people, I'm open to people expressing themselves and letting other's know what they think but when people come out with rubbish like that it makes me slightly ashamed to be a male. If women genuinely think that we're twat's then the human race wouldn't survive, you need us as much as we need you. That how it works.
I'll admit there are males in this world that are stupid, make silly decisions without thinking, say things when they need to shut up and talk inappropriately about other people and i like to think i don't do any of those so why should i be told that I'm a twat in that manor because I'm male 'i must be'
Know what happened to individuality, is it lost in this world that we all need to be labeled 1 by 1 in a big line so we have some sort of status to everyone else. If so its not a human race I want to be involved in.
(That last bit sounded like a suicide note)
This weeks been tough, I've made some life changing decisions that nobody could understand unless you sat down with me and i told you it all, which I've done with nobody.
I'm not ashamed to say my girlfriend saw me cry for the first time this week, i sat in my room after having a bit of joke with her, then turned over and just broke down, id done it the day previous without anyone knowing, but i couldn't hold it in, i knew she thought 'Its me, what have i done :(' but that wasn't the case, I needed help with a decision and stood at the window and looked into the sky for ages and didn't take my eyes off the night sky looking for a bit of guidance, Now I'm an Atheist and don't believe that god exists but, ill look up because i think its better than looking down, I miss my Grandad and Grandpa who I've mentioned before. Ive not thought about them much till this week as i had moved on.
But going back to the stereotyping, why boys and picked on or laughed at if they cry is stupid, i talk to a guy in my Science set at college about crying a lot and we agree that if you want to cry and let you feelings out then you should. I'm not saying i cry everyday and I'm an emotional wreck, i just think that something you need to let go and open the taps.
At the moment I'm really happy, but the last weeks been a bit tough.
Also I need to say this somewhere because i tell the girl involved to F**K OFF!
The conversation went like this.
Me: He looks like my Grandad
Her: I don't like him
Me: My Grandads dead
Me: (look of wtf did you just say)
Her: I killed him. *she laughed
Because shes a girl I shut up sat quietly and was in the mood for the next few hours
(she didn't know he'd died this year or that i was upset already but, NOT THE POINT
WHAT A BITCH.
OK I'm done ill forget about it now i suppose.
But don't be surprised if tomorrows blog is
'Wednesday, My last day at college.'
Thanks for reading through I hope it made sense i enjoy writing lots like this.