Friday, 21 August 2009

Lets have a little chat.

So I assume a few people are totally confused to why I've got rid of everything on my Youtube channel, well I think people deserve to know why. Firstly let me say I'm not doing or saying anything for attention I'm just going to let people know how I feel about things.

Ive been on Youtube over a year and a half.
Ive got a following of apparently 1500 people, which if you know me at all then you understand how much they/you all mean to me.
Right now I don't feel wanted and if I'm honest with myself I don't really think I ever have. Yes I've met some incredibly people on the way and yes I get on with 99% of people on Youtube, but theres a difference between been wanted and been known. In my time on Youtube right now, I don't care. I feel everything is just a struggle, I'm not doing well as far as stats are concerning etc, I've put work in and I'm basically not getting the return that I want. I get people saying 'you deserve more subs' and part of me thinks yes I do, but that doesn't give me 10,000. I've never seen subscribers as a trophy, I see them as a group of people that enjoy what I do. Have I got regrets from things I've done on Youtube. YES! I wish Id spoken my mind more, been myself more and kept in touch with people more. Theres a list of people that mean the most to me without even knowing it and the people on Youtube that have changed my view on things, and I wouldn't usually do this but I'll name them.

Jess(xbrokenmindedx) who to most people is old school, helped me out when I first got going and I won't forget that.

The people that used to come into my Stickam rooms and that I became friends with and wish I was closer to now, Darren Jade Pav Chris Rory Sophie and many others.

NSG, the person that inspires me to reach for things and really try to get them, someone I was so nervous about meeting and ended up realising their one of the nicest people ive ever met.

Alex Day and Jimmy Hill. (Nerimon + Jimmy0010) 2 people who I really admired when I first started out, Although Jimmys gone slightly AWOL over the last year and Alex's videos ha vent been to my particular taste etc, I haven't forgotten about the influence they had on me.

Youstage (Gathering) - The people that I met at this gathering were amazing I got closer to people I admired and found out how well a group of Internet obsessed people could get on in the real world for 3 days straight and equally share my 18th Birthday with me :)

The new breed - To which there are so many people, you might not even consider yourself in that group. But you know who you are im sure. People that I met at Youstage, Uncliche Gathering and most recently The Love Hate Society Gathering. You have all helped me along the way with things some of you rose to quickly for my liking, and yes part of me is most likely jealous of this fact, but I still respect all of you for having the drive to make things work.

The people I have gotten close to over the last few months most notably Gary, Tino and one or 2 others that have really made an impact on my life, been someone to talk to even though you don't think anything of it at the time you make things easier.

Basically theres been lots of people that have been on the journey with me and most recently the BLOGTVers and the Peas! You've keep me going over the last few weeks and you surely all know how much I think of you all.
Theres lots of people I haven't mentioned in this blog that I know I should, and if you ever think I ha vent paid you enough attention or I've been distant with you then believe me that's never what I've wanted. If I had it my way I'd get to know all of you people that follow what I do and support me, even if I've never said thank you, just be safe in the knowledge that im thankful for everything however big or small.

And what happens now.
I've officially quit thelovehatesociety and have already got a replacement that I know will do an amazing job :)
I'll still keep an eye on my channel as I don't what to lose touch with some people, just remember if you need help with anything or just need the Doctor to give you a bit of advice you know exactly where I am :) Skype: BenjyCarr lol

Ill look at what I want to do in December or something or the new year, and maybe you'll see a new Benjy :)

Thank you for reading this and sticking with it

Ben xxx


BethPorter10 said...

I wish you'd know how appreciated and amazing you are.
I really hope you find what you need to come back soon <3

Dave said...

We'll miss you, do BlogTV once in a while yeah? :)

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Jonny said...

I couldn't say it better than Beth!
You may not have a huge number of subscribers, but all of them are loyal!

Sazily said...

I agree with Beth as well, I just want you to know that you've inspired me as well.

I hope one day, you will return to us and I might finally get to meet you. :)

Oh and I'm sorry I've only been to a few of your BlogTV shows, I wish I had gone to more, they were a lot of fun <3

belfastgirly said...

Hi Benjy

you were the first youtuber i properly subscribed to and now because of your blogtv show, vids and lovehate vids ive made friend with you and some of your subscribers :) so thanks.

whats the army of peas gonna do without u!

hope u still do blogtv from time to time and come back to yt soon.

love heather x

Hannah said...

Very sad that you're leaving; I've loved watching your videos, and your BlogTV shows have been some of my favourites. You'll be missed, but hopefully we'll see you around every now and then! <3

Gary + Cheeky said...

Sadly what Ben is saying is true. The subscribers now are not very loyal at all - only a small percentage are. His 'Dentist' video had subscriber click throughs at a fraction of his sub count. Views are down for the summer but that's just odd. I support his decision to break, when it becomes depressing/a chore it's no longer worth it. I'm feeling very similar. 2,200 subs and 87 comments? 500 click throughs from sub box? Why put so much effort in when no one gives a toss. Ben. YOU ARE RIGHT! Unfortunately :(

Barry Aldridge said...

You are really cool Benjy, I can understand your decision. If I get a choice to talk to you on Skype. I will do.

Take it easy and hope you make a comeback.

Take your time and be well.

Anonymous said...

On second thoughts I agree with Gary + Cheeky BUT its not nessecerly all the fault of the 'subscribers' I feel this new view count algroythm has a lot to do with the missed views.

Maybe I should just give up also since the view count system has started I have only had 20% of my previous views from a 1000+ subscriber base.

I would like to keep in contact with you Ben your a really nice chap <3

Bill said...

Benji, you'll be missed. When it stops being fun it's time to move on. To me, the kiss of death for YouTube is when they started featuring only partnered videos. They have turned their backs on the people that made them.

Gary's right in that numbers and views are down People sub and unsub at a surprising rate. Frankly, it was more fun half a year ago.

We're all just wasting out time there unless it's something you enjoy doing. I disagree with removing videos. It's hard to see such brilliant work suddenly gone.

Keep in touch, and thank you for the many hysterical and brilliant moments!

Dom said...

Hello. I think I can appreciate your decision to quit. I think they are rather similar to the key reasons I quit. It's one thing being told you deserve subs and actually getting them and I think without sounding big headed that we both know our worth and how difficult and frustrating to see other people who appear from nowhere and get thousands of subscribers in a matter of months. Particularly when you know full well that their videos are shit.

I think to some respect it's the old human greed factor of seeing what others have and wanting it but more than this, feeling justified in feeling you deserve a certain number compared to others who have more but whose videos are crapper and people who put next to no effort in.

I dunno if I'm making sense here but I think I understand where you are coming from. I completely deleted my channel, about 6-7 weeks later I decided I wanted to at least keep the name even if I don't make videos and fortunately I was able to. But I'm not really interested in the hussle anymore.

Take it easy :)

Now you'll just have to focus on beating us lot in fantasy football, you are in the lead last time I checked.

thisisace said...

Benjy, I've seen you around online, but never had the chance to watch any of your videos or to chat.

I understand what people are saying about the whole "is it worth the effort?" thing. I'm about to reach 100 subs after a couple of years. This means I sometimes only get 2-3 comments on a video that's taken me a lot of work.
The comments are usually from people I've got to know as friends on here - and who I've enjoyed meeting in real life.
I enjoy the video making process, when I've got something to say.

Michael Markman said...

Amen to Beth, Gary + Cheeky, Bill, Dom and all

Sorry, Benjy, that you are taking a hiatus from YouTube, but I understand, empathize, and support your decision.

I don't get why you wanted to take everything down. Seems a bit harsh.

Everyone is fretting about view counts being down. It's inevitable considering how much new stuff gets uploaded. In May, YouTube published some stats:

In mid-2007, six hours of video were uploaded to YouTube every minute. By May, they were getting 20 hours of new video uploaded every minute. It must be higher by now. That's equivalent to more than 115,000 feature films being released every week. Beyond that, there are new time sinks outside of YouTube--blogtv, stickam, dailybooth, twitter.

When we're all making stuff to upload, we don't have much time for viewing.

I loved your work, Benjy. I think you have a sharp comedic mind and funny point of view. Hope to see you back.

Thanks for the lulz. <3

Angelus001 said...

I just had found you on blogTV from miss paislypower30. You seem like a right guy. sorry your going through a rough patch. Hope things get better and you return soon. till then good luck and may the Saints look over you.

Josie said...

Thank you for being entertaining, inspiring and generally seeming like a really nice guy. You will definitely be missed :)