Wednesday, 17 September 2008

I never thought my own video would make me cry.

I hadnt cried while watching 'When do you feel alone' during all the hours that went into making it and editing it. I never cried once. But today I was sitting on my own in the house and just went on it for no reason like you do every now and then and just watched it in silence. And every word meant something to me as id been through all of it.
Today at college I was sitting on the field on my own waiting to go an see someone about enrichment, and the field was covered in First years. Of which I am one, but im 18 and the majority of them are 16 and its difficult. Really difficult. I feel isolated.
In lessons I sometimes sit there and think why didnt i try harder last year BUT
If id have stayed I wouldnt meet some amazing people in the year below. So its swings and roundabouts.
I guess feeling lonely is so much more than just been on your own.

Speak soon
Benjy

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