Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Fed up.

So you'll have been linked to this via twitter no doubt as I'm pretty sure people who actually follow this blog will have given up by now.

And can you blame them.

A few of you have noticed and I'm sure one or two more will that I have started to slowly get rid of EVERYTHING that holds me to the internet, its not who I am. It never really was and it never will be. I had my dreams when I was younger and they got shattered, not halted or delayed. Shattered. Literally.

I came to Youtube to start a comedy/vlogging channel in March 2008. Youtube was a different place, I felt inspired, my videos weren't up to much and well some will say they still aren't. You're entitlted to your own opinion. The main reason I joined the online community thing was to gain more friends and in turn have more things to do and more things to keep me occupied. Because in February 2008 I dropped out of college, this was because of my reasons so many people won't understand because I've never let them in. Youtube was all amount helping each other out. Its not really about that anymore. Pretty face and a shoutout from a bigger Youtuber and you're flying. Am I bitter and jealous, a little.

I have NO DOUBT that people will read all this and go 'fucking attention seeking little fucker, we've seen all this before and oh look he came back, hes bound to do the same' And if you think that fine. If it were someone else that I didn't really know I'd most likely have that opinion also, but to the people that will think this, you don't know me. Now that might be YOUR fault or it might be MINE either way its happened.

So yeah basically I'm cutting out everything that the internet holds me to, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Blogtv, Dailybooth, Msn and Skype its all going to become either very quiet on those fronts or just isn't going to exist anymore.

You might all be thinking, but why?

The people on Youtube in real life are lovely (majority)
Online people can be two faced, fake, over expressive, they might show complete disregard for others or upset people from things they say in a video or on twitter. People take it to seriously (I count myself in this) but thats because I got sucked in by it all. Some people think that because they're behind and computer screen and nobody can tell them what to do and they do things that are completely unacceptable in the real world. Bullying, Racist behaviour, or just taking the piss out of minorities. You simply can't and shouldn't be allowed to do that. But Youtube and its people are full of it.
When some people call themselves 'part of the community' I just laugh, because to me theres no such thing not really, yeah a few people help out a few other people but when it really comes down to it. People can't be bothered. It's all to much hard work.

Over the last few months some of the people closest to me let me down. Most of the time without realising and so can I blame them for that? Yeah a little bit because I felt valued as a friend to those people. Maybe I'm being to harsh or critical but its how I feel. I might just be repeating myself by saying all of this. so what. People need to listen.

Jacob Dyer. You are a fucking joke. You treat people like utter shit, you think that because you're behind a screen you can say and do what you like. When I met you in real life at the Festive Gathering, and after weeks of you saying 'I want to talk to Benjy' you stood around all day without even looking at me, until I called you. Then you stood face to face me without being able to justify anything you have ever done. Expecting me to shake your hand? Are you fucking kidding, you think that will just vindicate everything you've ever done, and its bullshit. You thought that we'd stand there shake hands and everyone would forget how much of a cunt you can be? No.You thought you'd go to shake my hand and knew id say no. So you could walk away saying 'I tried' We all tried for months with you and where did it get us, nowhere. You stood opposite me shaking. Because for the first time a Youtuber had stood there without a computer to hide behind and told you exactly what they thought of you. And you went home. Gloated that you'd 'won'. The whole saga with you is fucking pathetic, you sir are fucking pathetic. You continue to talk about me to people behind my back and make jokes and talk about me on your blog and formspring. Well im sorry that by writing this I've come down to your level. Next time you talk about me, tell people what actually happened. Rather than smoother my friendship that I've had with other people in lies and bullshit please. You know nothing about me.
I am officially done with you, you are NOTHING to me.
(For people NOT Jacob Dyer, I felt I needed to clear that up because I get asked all the time about it.)

So what next, who knows, I need to concentrate on college for a little bit. Get through the end of this year and take it from there.
If you've ever known me at all you know exactly what sort of a friend I am. I never treat anyone the way I wouldn't like to be treated. I stick by you. I make sure you know where you stand with me. And finally, Im honest. If you know me at all, you'll sit there thinking about it.

Do I want a song and dance about this whole thing no. I'll tweet it a few times to avoid confusion for some people to what is going on. I won't make a 'leaving video' whats the point?

If you've been part of my life over the last 2 years, thank you for helping me grow as a person but now its time to move on. By the end of this week it'll be like I never existed.

Why give that out? Because I think some people do care about me and I want to give those people a chance to say bye. Thats if they want to.



XAyameHimeX said...

Woah alot of information theyre Benjy, and with whatever you do, good luck xx tin of peas

jumpnbounce said...

Hey Benjy.

Well, it is sad to see you going after all this time, but know that I don't regret meeting you at various gatherings. I know that we didn't really chat much outside of them, but still...take care, my friend :)

Josie said...

Good luck with everything x

Barry Aldridge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barry Aldridge said...

Like the e-mail I send you, I wished I chatted to you more. I wish you nothing but the best and good luck with whatever you do.

Take care


Elizabeth... said...

I know I was just a casual observer, yeah I never made the effort to contact you directly to get to know you better, but I very much admire your sense of humour and always enjoyed your input on blogtv and youtube.
I read this and see a honest adult who knows his own mind.
From a tin of peas.

Ashley said...

Good luck with everything Benjy. We'll all miss you. Take care.

I wish we had talked more over twitter and such. Like Liz said, the casual observer.

duck was fantastic.

good luck and a tin of peas! :)

[what's fitting? the word ver is dienesti like dynasty] :/