But that's most likely down to time, I have 3 hours on Wednesday mornings before college and so that sort of provides me with the time.
College is a strange place really, education in general is quite weird, how we all know where we are going at certain times, seeing people in corridors saying hello, when in reality you think that person is a bit of a dick.
The way people sort of eye each other up and mutter 'what the bloody hell is he/she wearing.' The way that word 'gay' is still used as an insult because people apparently still see it as wrong. For some reason there's some sort of hierarchy that nobody will speak of but you all know exists. I hate walking around college and seeing people sitting/standing around on their own, I'm really lucky to have Elly around and live only a bike ride away from college, people that live miles away must find it quite difficult.
People like I did just over a year ago see college as a chore like something they have to do rather than something they can go into a lesson work hard and enjoy the lesson. I'll be the first to admit as a student of education in general I've let myself down, I could have worked a lot harder but just didn't want to for what ever reason, I always behaved I wasn't one to sit at the back of the class throwing things been a twat etc, but I never worked as hard as I knew that I could. Its sad.
I guess I lacked drive, the way I was kept at school I imagine was that if i didn't go I wasn't aloud to play football at the weekend for my club, so it was either fine don't go to school but you cant play at the weekend. Football was my love, just my passion, when I look back Girlfriends and teen things like that never interested me, I'm not really one to go out and get smashed out of my head on alcohol because I don't want to spend money on a headache the next morning, I know Id have a good time but would it be worth it?
Do you ever get that weird feeling where you sit in a room on your own in a room and sigh at your own life? Just feel inept almost as if you don't belong? I did a lot last year when I wasn't doing anything productive with my life, yeah I worked a bit but nothing id consider pushing my life further on.
It really really really frustrates me that people outside of 'YouTube' don't 'get it' they just ask me why do you do it? or sarcastically say 'make a video about it.' to be honest i just laugh it off because its all a bit pedantic. All these cocky confident fronted people that are in those certain groups of colleges society in front of a camera talking about their life showing of there skills, or in my case trying to make people laugh.
Just once id love to see them try.