For people that follow this blog..

SORRY

I do actually really enjoy posting blogs but its the 19th of December and my first blog this month!

Basically I've not done much to blog about, actually that might not be true.. I did go to a Youtube gathering which was actually really nice, I met some new people and caught up with some old faces and all in all I had a grand day :D <3

College is going ok, I've not done a whole lot to be honest, just got my head down, trying to work hard. I do find at college though that because people are becoming more aware of my Youtube account and what I do on it that I find myself being a little bit more funny than usual. What I mean when I say that is that I'd always try to find jokes to make or little comments that amuse people but it does feel a little like people expect it now. This can have its perks but also theres numorous times I just can't be bothered!

As I seem to do in every blog I'll write about Youtube, and a blog by Dom 'MyShowbizName' caught my eye, he commented on the state of the community spirit that used to be around so much. He made a point about people not ReTweeting videos etc.. he has a very good point, but this problem has being around for months. It takes nothing to click 'ReTweet' and sure sometimes I don't do it but over the last 2 weeks I've made an effort to help promote more people. This is mainly because its so simple!

The thing that makes Youtube so brilliant is the way we can all rally around each other and help them push on, and because we have things like Twitter and Facebook is so easy to do this. We all know that it only takes a sidebar link or a mention in a video for someone overnight to gain a large amount of exposure. Is this fair? Maybe not, but what good does it do sitting back and saying 'Nah I won't help them out because they've had help before' or 'Why should I retweet them if they don't help me'
All that does it add to the problem.

Maybe you don't agree with what I've said but i'd love to know what you think.

Let me know by either emailing me at doctorbenjy@gmail.com
or just leaving a comment on this post

Thanks

Ben

P.S. My last video has done quite well and i've a new one on the way :D thanks peas!

IdealBid

Please watch and comment :)

This blog might not make sense (in need of a better title)

Dear Blogger

For a good 5 minutes Ive done nothing but click on and off my blog and stare at the icon of blogger on my toolbar, so this must mean one of two things.
- Derren Brown has taken over my mind and not only predicted the lottery again but wants me to blog
OR
- I myself want to blog and Derren Brown doesn't control me! HE DOESN'T CONTROL ME.

So the whole podcast idea, I think im going to record the first one in the morning, just me doing a brief introduction to what it might include etc etc. I know it all sounds VERY exciting!

I've already mentioned this to the Ranttank crew, but I have got a fear that RantTank could be the death of my channel, my channel is built on ranty rants, and now I'm taking my own format and sticking it onto another channel. I admit that I think posting on ranttank is a positive thing it may have an effect on my own channel, but we shall see. I haven't got any ideas for a video right now but I'm not letting it bother me as I'm taking a very relaxed attitude to Youtube at the moment as its the best way to be, not worrying about getting my videos up or thinking of the next idea, to some it comes very natural. I need to have the idea come to me rather than me going out and searching for it.

I've got a day off from college tomorrow well actually as of this moment its today (Thursday) so me and Elly are going to see the Michael Jackson film at last, we did plan to see it during half term but Elly was ill so it just wasn't possible. Its very odd having a Thursday off then having to go back to college for the Friday, and then next week I've got lots of cancelled lessons because I'm ahead of people, could I sound anymore up my own arse. I should have just written, 'I'm better than them'.

UPDATE ON MY ADSENSE BUSINESS: Google can fuck off.

Sorry if this hasn't made sense rather than writing this I should be asleep.

Thanks for reading anyway :)

Ben....................................................not Benjy :)

HeyHey

So I haven't posted in a while, mainly because not much has gone on, my half term was pretty mundane. Elly was ill for the majority of it so I hardly saw her and didn't have any ideas for a Youtube video so I just had a very relaxed week of doing nothing which in a way is nice, but at the same time if you know me you know that I CANNOT STAND being bored and unoccupied.
I do find that I need to be entertained all the time, I just need things to happen or something to be going on that I can get involved with I really need a project to get stuck into, I'm back at college so I'm pretty sure that they'll give me something to get involved with soon enough.
Halloween was on Saturday night as the world is already aware and Great Yarmouth held a Halloween fireworks display which I thought was a bit risky but everything went mildly smoothly, few incidents but I won't go into great detail. Early last week I delete LOADS of people on facebook and msn, its strange cutting off so many people, but without being to cruel I just don't speak to lots of people and have no real need to stay in contact with 100's of people that I only really half know at best. There is lots of people in my life from school etc that I wish I still spoke to on a more frequent basis but we all get on with our lives so theres nothing I can do about it.

The internet has been having a few dramas recently, Ranttank is the main one, if you can even call it a drama. It's pissed a few people off and some people have jumped on board and are very interested in it, some couldnt care less but thats ok. Then theres some people like Jacob Dyer that are just cunts about the whole thing, create rumours that simply aren't true and spoil the whole thing just so they can kept their reputations as 'the cunts of youtube' something that isn't something to be proud of. But it was all VERY secretive yes of course Tino was outed early and then Gary gave himself away to often but not many people knew that me, Conor, Tom and Mike were involved and lots of people were shocked about that which is nice to see the reaction. Some people feel amazingly let down by the whole thing, but you have to remember we never promised anything. All we did was create something for people to try and work out, bitch about and get involved with. Lets hope its a success, its my video tomorrow and I've no idea what im doing compared to Gary whos had it ready for WEEKS! lol if you don't know what im on about then check out http://www.youtube.com/ranttank :D

So as I mentioned before Im back at college and thats where I am now sitting in a computer room with lots of other quiet people. Its strange that I used to get involved with everything whereas now I kind of enjoy sitting back and letting things come to me, its not as exciting but maybe in the long run more rewarding! All my lessons are going well, ive got a few things to get done for tomorrow and I'm going to have to blag some film work that I've not done in about an hour but hey how hard can that be :D

Finally, I posted a video on 'TheLoveHateSociety's' Youtube channel which was me and Gary discussing cheese in a audio/picture format. People seemed to really enjoy it and it got me thinking maybe doing a podcast would be an idea, so I ask the people that follow me on this blog and twitter.
If I were to do a podcast, firstly, Is it a good idea? Would you listen!? :D And how often I should bring them out?

I've already got a format thought out which would involve guests and STUFF, so please take 1 minute to let me know :)

Thanks!

Ben x

A year ago today

I posted this on my blog

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Sometimes

my dad needs to give me some fucking space

I dont care if my family dont like the fact i swear in my blog, to the rest of the world it means nothing!

=========================
Its the same today, im ill geniuenly ill, and yet because of a track record i had near a year ago he doesnt believe me, brilliant.

Another break

WAIT NOT THAT SORT OF BREAK!

I mean at college, constantly having time to kill is a little frustrating but I can just about deal with not working. Although Ive got Film Studies next which to be honest can be a little slow at times and people in the class are a little class, but its the most relaxing lesson i suppose.

Elly has a free period last so shes gone home and now I'm sat in a computer room in the corner of college with lots of people who struggle to control there sound volume from their mouths, but never mind. I've got Radio 1 in my ears so its drowning it out somewhat.

I'm not going to do blogtv tonight mainly because I can't be bothered and i found last week a tad mundane so maybe good things come to those who wait, also there might be a chance that I'll be able to play poker live for the first time a while, although its unlikely ill live in hope.

Heartbreaker is playing on Radio 1, I should hate this song but its OK lol

ALSO to those people that a few weeks ago blog responded about the 5 things you can't live without right now, I read all of the ones that were put in front of me twittered or commented on that original blog. So thanks for taking part :)

Right so a week and a half ago I uploaded a video to some people surprise which has done quite well much love to Gary for autoplaying it for a little while <3
I'm not going to mention that I'm suddenly making videos again in an actual video because I actually don't think I need to explain myself, lets just say I had a day in which I wanted to upload a video. How simple.

Sorry that this is all broken up into lots of little paragraphs Ive just got lots of little topics to talk about!

Next: So I have actually scripted another video which I find quite funny so I may make that tonight but we shall see. I've got a few ideas bubbling around and some of them are good so wait and see. I was going to make a video reviewing the new Ricky Gervais film called 'The Invention of Lying' which is really good actually, I'm not going to because it'd be so out of the norm for me to do so, although I was part of a review channel and I once reviewed High School Musical 3, because lets be honest with ourselves its a groundbreaking film at worst!

I'm finding it terribly easy to write this blog its only taken me about 5 minutes to do all of this and I have more to say about lots of different topics currently on my mind so if your still with me then well done for the stamina you clearly have!

Lets talk about college because I don't think Ive really spoken to many Youtubes about that side of me, not to say I'm just aiming this at Youtubes as the link comes up on my facebook of which the majority of my friends arent even away of the hidden Youtube scene. But college this year is interesting, I'm enjoying education fully for what it is for the first time in agesss, maybe about 3 years. English is a struggle some idiots in their particularly one boy who has the face you want to punch repetitively until it bleeds.

Cheryl Coles new song is on and this is the second time today ive heard it on Radio1 today :( its not that good lol

more college talk. I am finding English really easy so its better than having a dickhead in the lesson and struggling with it. Media Studies is really good, I need to work a little bit harder im to relaxed in that lesson if im honest with myself. I really like my teacher i like his style of teaching because quite simply its gels with me and not many teachers over the years have been able to do that :). In PE i have 3 teachers over the course of the week, I did the same course last year and im retaking it this year in order to gain a better Exam grade and bump up my coursework from a C. Like media I need to work harder, i get on with the teachers and this mean my concentration slips a little because im enjoying myself, im sure ill get my head down a little when I need to though :D Like I said earlier about film studies I enjoy it the people in it are alright and the teacher is lovely so alls dandy its just a little quite and I dont really get alot of a silent environment sadly but things can only get better when people get abit more confident, im not really myself in that lesson but thats alright because sometimes we need to be grounded dont we?
So thats college :) its going a lot better than the last years so I cant really ask for much more can I?

So ive written all this in about 10 minutes some sort of blogging record? maybe. Ive still got 40 minutes until Film so hmm what to do now, ive recently re-connected my facebook and twitter because I like it when people comment my status and obviously if their connected theres alot more for people to comment on so its a nice way to connect with facebook people aka the people in my real life world, not the online one that you get sucked into, but im slowly fading out of but thats my own choice. Im sure i'll look back on this time in a few months and think I've made a few mistakes. Because when i look back at around this time a year ago, I was growing up quickly and its strange to look back at things that you can't change, but I wouldnt have done anything in the last year differently so thats good isnt it? :)

Ben x

If you stuck with this post a comment and let me know :D ill be impressed if you read all of this just over 1000 words!!

Down days

Have you had one of these recently, we all have that at some point, I'm having one today. BlogTv wasn't as exciting as normal last night, I think it was due to the fact I was tired and starting my down day then. I'd lost a few big pots playing poker and it was frustrating to have played well and still lost.
I suppose theres degrees of a downness isn't there,
- You can feel a little narked about something going on but really its not effecting you.
- You have days when you cant be bothered to do anything with yourself and just battle on because you know that 'you have to' or that your told from someone most likely parents that you have to do things a certain way.
- Then you have the days in which you feel so down you can't get out of bed do anything, would rather spend the day in your own company because that way you can't annoy anyone and they can't annoy you.
Today I'm just annoyed because I can't seem to find any passion to do anything, I've got a good video idea but once again the passion is deserting me which is a shame, but this proves more to me that I need to carry on with my break. I know some will say 'But you made a video surely the break is over?' No I'm still on a break from posting a lot etc. That idea was just fresh and i knew if i made a video about it it'd come out well. That's the first time I had a bit of a desire to do something and well I think the end product has come out very well.

I've made a decision about gatherings because people have asked recently are you going to any this year or even next year. I think Summer in the City was my last gathering, I still want to meet people in the real world, and gathering have giving me the chance to travel so much more than I would have. Its nice seeing new people and people Ive met before and cherish but, ill just get people to come and see me from now on and ill go see them because I want to :D

Right im going to stop myself from writing anymore because if I don't ill go on forever!

Ben x

Guinness World Records

:)

=/

i NEVER forget what people do for me
but i remember more what they dont

So I might be making a comeback.

Something I really don't want to do is come back and for lots of people to be like 'Left for attention what a complete dick' Because I really didn't really really really didn't. It wasn't a stunt to get more subscribers or anything I just wanted to take a nice break, and when I announced I was leaving it was likely I wouldn't come back because at the time my mind was set on the whole thing.
Over the last month and and half I have talked to a lot of people about the situation and what i need to do next in order to be happy making YouTube videos again.
Yesterday after a bit of thought I decided to make a video that would be good enough to come back with.
I scripted it which I enjoyed but as a certain Ricky Gervais says there is NOTHING more exciting than the idea of what I could do. So over the next day or two I will upload a video that I hope a lot of you will really enjoy and make you happy that your still subscribed.

I am really worried that people will be annoyed that I've come back so soon BUT at the same time its my channel my life and I can live it the way I want, but at the same time if people that are loyal to me get a bit frustrated with my antics then it'll be extremely disheartening to see that happen, so that's the fear. I know lots of people will be happy to see me return so soon and that is an amazing feeling, the fact I've got over 1700 people still subscribed despite knowing how i feel is just brilliant.

Lets just wait and see :)

Ben x

I haven't got my wallet

I haven't brought my wallet to college today, and thinking about it I didn't bring it yesterday either. I do feel a little lost without it. It's got cards and money in that I do like having with me for security if nothing else, knowing I have them and somebody else doesn't.

Like for example when my phone isn't on my person I felt quite lost without it. ALTHOUGH when I went to Spain in July I didn't take it out with me anywhere I just left it sitting in our apartment. I suppose it was one way of been on holiday because when at home I always have my phone close to me.

When I was younger I had a little sponge football from the World Cup in 1998 and I took it everywhere and I guess that was the thing back then that I'd always have with me because it sort said who I was. Football obsessed, I still am now but just without as much opportunity. I suppose in life there are things we just can't live without and we joke saying 'I'd DIE without my phone' and things like that when in reality I'd just find something else to get hold of people with and move on with my life

What 5 things RIGHT NOW in your life can't you live without?
(I could live without them but like them close)
Mine are:
Elly
Ipod
Phone
Wallet
Sport

You'll notice Youtube isn't on the list. 6 months ago it would have been near the top strange eh?

Write a blog about the topic i've talked about and let me know when you've done it because im interested!

Or just leave a comment :)

Ben x

BLOGTV

Come along!

I've blogs coming soon :D I HOPE.

What to do now.

Hello :)

Thank you for the response to my last blog :D it was really helpful. You all had different opinions which was good, is wasn't all of you saying YES DO IT! which is good.

But i've decided what to do.
BLOGTV: Mondays 7.30 til whenever, But im not going to say im doing it every week because if one week I dont feel like it but ive said to you all im doing it I dont want to be a let down. Im starting tomorrow at http://www.blogtv.com/people/doctorbenjy

So yeah I hope you think thats a good idea let me know. <3

YOUTUBE: Im carrying on with the break until I don't know when. Mainly because if I suddenly appear back people will call me an attention seaking like fucker, something I really can't be bothered to deal with. What I do want to do though is make a thank you video that I can have up for about week, because I've had an amazing response over the last few weeks which is really nice, and I want to say thank you to people.
I do want to know though, is it a good idea, or do you think I should just leave it?

I can say though that im looking forward to tomorrow and blogtv :D

Ben x

Decisions

This isn't a comedy blog.

I had a great Birthday for those that wondered, today personal was hard I got smashed on the head accidentally with a car boot quite a lot so got some mild concussion and it was the most painful experience ive had in a very long time.
ANYWAY

So over the last 2 weeks i've had a lot of support from all sides, from people I didn't expect to get support from and more support from people I didn't expect.
So many people have told me not to leave and to carry on, to make videos for myself. And as much as I love the people ive met and the subscribers that watch my videos. I simply wasn't enjoying it. I refuse to come back to soon.

Of course theres aspects of Youtube that I miss.

So I want you people that read this to help me and although I half expect to know the answers already, take everything you've seen in videos and read about my situation and answer honestly.

- Should I do one blogtv show every 2 weeks?
- Should I post one video a month until I feel I can produce more?

Just answer in the comments :) (Yes Yes) (No No) (Yes No) (No Yes)
Thank you


In other news I might have different projects on the go aswell.
Me and Lex are planning to do a podcast that we've spoken about for sometime which I actually think would turn out really well. Basically its called DoctorDuck, and the format is unknown, but will/should be good :)
I go back to college on Wednesday which is going to be strange but fine I suppose.

Also, I really really really want to make a thank you video, the support I've had recently has actually been really overwhelming, some messages and comments make me happy cry which is sweet i know lol. But I do worry that if i make a video people will get all 'You said you were leaving you fucking attention seeking twat' And it'll be a bit =/ I know its my channel and could do what I like but I do value what people think.

Comment and let me know what you think on everything

Ben x

Summer in the City.

Hello
ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY 1st of September never forget it!

So on the Saturday just gone it was Summer in the City 2009, I love that i've put 2009 purely because of the 2010 announcement.
And considering Im leaving Youtube for there to be such a big turn out just because I was leaving well I was over come, i've never had such a decent leaving party.

But I wasn't really myself, I felt quite shy not my normal self, I had a conversation with Gary and he said its because I didn't really have anything to promote which was true, I didnt need to sell myself, if I didn't leave id have pushed myself a bit more. I was suprised to how many people knew me aswell, I still find it weird that im known, I had lots of people come up to me and be like YOUR DOCTORBENJY. Im like yes I am.
But I was sad walking away apparently people want to talk to me on skype about the situation so we'll see if that happens. When I was walking away from the Gathering I bumped into Paul (CheekyChen) and we had a chat for a while, because he noticed I was on the brink of tears. I know poor Benjy. I really didnt want to watch away from the gathering with regrets but I did, theres so many people I wish I had more confidence with to talk to, its rare for me to be like that but I felt a bit awkward around people, I think a few people think I blanked them which I really didn't mean to do. Lots of people tried to convince me to stick around and make videos but its just not right at the moment. To sum up SITC was a plus 3 :P I know im still rating things like that LOL.

TODAY is my BIRTHDAY.
Teoh the sly little bugger has been all around the world it seems getting people to say nice things about me and make a video, which he posted today. Its made me cry. Not impressed!
But their are lots of people in it that I love. Im surprised Kristina is in it (although shes no idea who I am, I intend to contact her :D because i feel i should be like HEY YOU DONT KNOW ME!!) She was actually the first fiveawesomegirl I subscribed to. And Alex had nice things to say about me which was really nice :) I sent him a message recently which part of me regrets so intend to send him another one to clear the air i suppose. I love Teoh for this video, Oooooo im calling him Teoh haha TINO TO YOU NORMAL FOLK.
So thank you SO MUCH to everyone who was in it :D

I've had a good couple of days.

Soon im going to start doing COMEDY BLOGS. I hope you'll like them. Let me know in the comments if you think its a good idea. Or if you met me and want to talk to me more add me on skype: BenjyCarr (I whore this out far to much Im a stalkers dream and not just because im fit.) TALK TO ME MORE.

Ben :)

Summer In The Ciry

Although in my video titled 'Im Leaving' I said I wasn't going to this gathering it turns out now that I am, its a bit of a journey though :( Not because of time, but because there's loads of changes.
Great Yarmouth - Norwich (Train)
Norwich - Ipswich (Train)
Ipswich - Stansted Airport (Bus)
Stansted Airport - Liverpool Street Station

Then a couple of tube journeys. So lets hope I actually make it in time.

I just got a letter saying I failed Science that's good news. It's not but I just can't help been sarcastic.

I really hope SITC will be a success, the amount of people going is insane but I really hope for the sake of the people that are organising it that it'll go well, but we shall see.
I'm going to get really sad though which will be a shame but equally it'll be the fact certain people mean a lot to mean, Im looking forward to meeting people that i've spoken to for over a year now which will be really good actually. I just hope i leave the day knowing that mean leaving is the right thing to do :)

So for those of you that are going, I'll see you on Saturday/Tomorrow :)

Ben

Youtube.

All I ever talk about on this bloody blog is YouTube or so it seems.

But this is something that I want to address all the ins and outs of YouTube.
Maybe I haven't spoken enough about my reasons to leave, although it's quite hard to blog about your true Youtube feelings without upsetting people. Its like an unwritten rule on Youtube that if you slag people/situations off then you get taken out of the community without even knowing it.

People forget that Youtubes just a website, yes a website with a difference you can't go on many websites and find a hidden group of people behind the template of videos. It does frustrate me the way people use what they have, because a lot of people waste it. People make videos in a vlogging capacity for 3 reasons and if you don't make videos for this reason in my opinion your a liar.
1. The attention factor purely out to get seen, in the hope one day you gain some sort of career and fame.
2. The want factor, you just want to be loved, been able to upload a video and no that you'll have 1000 strong quickly commenting and singing your praises.
3. For the fun of it, I say fun but to many people treat YouTube has a job.

None of these apply to me at the moment hence ive left.


These kill people, thats what forces people to quit. And with the 'new breed' sprouting up which I think have all done brilliantly and the majority deserve the recognition. I think that sooo many people in the next few months with in a way follow my path, its different for me I joined YouTube during abit of a strange period. There was already an established group and then there was nearly a year gap THEN a sudden burst of vloggers just appeared out of no where. And because of when I appeared I just watched it happen around me not really knowing whether I should try keep up or just let it happen. The thing is that my quality of video improved my editing was slack and jump cuts. WHAT were they?!
When I say follow my path I mean leave the site, maybe not admit to leaving it but just have periods of a few months where they'll lose all passion and just not be arsed basically. Trust me it'll happen to a select view and I can see who it'll be already. I don't want people to read this and be like 'oh he quits Youtube and suddenly knows it all.' No, its just i've been around for long enough to see people come and go and how the 'system' works.

Youtube is a like working as a bin man without qualifications. Yeah its fine to start off because theres not much else to do, but soon it becomes a routine that you cant get out of, when people say this as an opening line of a video its time to take a long break or stop. 'Sorry ive been a away for ages i thought it was time i made a video for you guys'
Yes your making videos to show off to subscribers but it shouldnt be to impress them they are already subscribed its about pushing new limits with videos.


'Famous Youtubers'
Thats right they are famous Youtubers, but when people treat them like royality its a fucking joke. If you went up to someone in the street and said, Have you seen the new Smosh video, they'd look at you and laugh in your face. Youtube is a entirely different world. Its built on egos, depression and the want to be loved. Saying this its also built on talented musicans comedians film makers and unique video vloggers with certain styles that make them something different which makes you want to watch. But they all have these traits somewhere.

I can't wait to go to Summer in the City and say lots of goodbyes to people, ill miss the fuck out of some people and knowing that I wont see any of them again really hurts, but at the same time it'll be the same group mentality which occasionally ive fallen victim to. When people dont come to gathering people are almost offended that they have a social life not revolving around Youtube. If your reading this now and are going to SITC. Come and talk to me please, no matter who you are it doesnt matter to me. I want to talk to everyone if I get the chance.

Its inevatable that people will disagree with what ive said and some people will agree with what ive said. Its fine. Its my opinion it can be contrived but its never wrong its just OPINION.

Thank you for reading and please comment and let me know what you think :)

Ben

Thank you all lots.

So it's been a few days since I announced id leave Youtube and well the support I've received is just overwhelming. I've read every comment and message and blog comment believe me, and although as of this moment im still sort of taking in the response and I will reply to everything :) just give a day or so.

Some people seem to be confused when I say I lack support, I dont mean the support of the peas your all brilliant and you've been a pleasure to interact with. Its more that I dont have the support of the people with say 8000 subscribers or more to push me to the next level. So i'm stuck working hard with no reward because it feels like nobody wants to give me a break for whatever reason, I'm not bitter but when you start to feel like nobody wants to help obviously it sets you back a little.

With the things i've said over the last few days, at no point have I tried to come across as jealous, arrogant or simply looking for attention, I just wanted to move forward with things over the last 2/3 months and haven't and felt it was time to be realistic. If your thinking that you dont no whether or not to talk to me etc in messages or skype PLEASE DO! My skype is 'BenjyCarr'
I love talking to new people and hearing what you all have to say its been a breath of fresh air to hear all of your views and i'll be honest I didn't ever realise how much people cared :(

Thanks again

Ben



P.S. I'll be updating this a lot more now it'll end up been the place where I talk about things that id usually make a video about its just nice to have a form of input. So feel free to favourite this page or put it on your google reader etc I dont really know how people keep up with blogs.

x

Lets have a little chat.

So I assume a few people are totally confused to why I've got rid of everything on my Youtube channel, well I think people deserve to know why. Firstly let me say I'm not doing or saying anything for attention I'm just going to let people know how I feel about things.

Ive been on Youtube over a year and a half.
Ive got a following of apparently 1500 people, which if you know me at all then you understand how much they/you all mean to me.
Right now I don't feel wanted and if I'm honest with myself I don't really think I ever have. Yes I've met some incredibly people on the way and yes I get on with 99% of people on Youtube, but theres a difference between been wanted and been known. In my time on Youtube right now, I don't care. I feel everything is just a struggle, I'm not doing well as far as stats are concerning etc, I've put work in and I'm basically not getting the return that I want. I get people saying 'you deserve more subs' and part of me thinks yes I do, but that doesn't give me 10,000. I've never seen subscribers as a trophy, I see them as a group of people that enjoy what I do. Have I got regrets from things I've done on Youtube. YES! I wish Id spoken my mind more, been myself more and kept in touch with people more. Theres a list of people that mean the most to me without even knowing it and the people on Youtube that have changed my view on things, and I wouldn't usually do this but I'll name them.

Jess(xbrokenmindedx) who to most people is old school, helped me out when I first got going and I won't forget that.

The people that used to come into my Stickam rooms and that I became friends with and wish I was closer to now, Darren Jade Pav Chris Rory Sophie and many others.

NSG, the person that inspires me to reach for things and really try to get them, someone I was so nervous about meeting and ended up realising their one of the nicest people ive ever met.

Alex Day and Jimmy Hill. (Nerimon + Jimmy0010) 2 people who I really admired when I first started out, Although Jimmys gone slightly AWOL over the last year and Alex's videos ha vent been to my particular taste etc, I haven't forgotten about the influence they had on me.

Youstage (Gathering) - The people that I met at this gathering were amazing I got closer to people I admired and found out how well a group of Internet obsessed people could get on in the real world for 3 days straight and equally share my 18th Birthday with me :)

The new breed - To which there are so many people, you might not even consider yourself in that group. But you know who you are im sure. People that I met at Youstage, Uncliche Gathering and most recently The Love Hate Society Gathering. You have all helped me along the way with things some of you rose to quickly for my liking, and yes part of me is most likely jealous of this fact, but I still respect all of you for having the drive to make things work.

The people I have gotten close to over the last few months most notably Gary, Tino and one or 2 others that have really made an impact on my life, been someone to talk to even though you don't think anything of it at the time you make things easier.


Basically theres been lots of people that have been on the journey with me and most recently the BLOGTVers and the Peas! You've keep me going over the last few weeks and you surely all know how much I think of you all.
Theres lots of people I haven't mentioned in this blog that I know I should, and if you ever think I ha vent paid you enough attention or I've been distant with you then believe me that's never what I've wanted. If I had it my way I'd get to know all of you people that follow what I do and support me, even if I've never said thank you, just be safe in the knowledge that im thankful for everything however big or small.

And what happens now.
I've officially quit thelovehatesociety and have already got a replacement that I know will do an amazing job :)
I'll still keep an eye on my channel as I don't what to lose touch with some people, just remember if you need help with anything or just need the Doctor to give you a bit of advice you know exactly where I am :) Skype: BenjyCarr lol

Ill look at what I want to do in December or something or the new year, and maybe you'll see a new Benjy :)

Thank you for reading this and sticking with it


Ben xxx

The Dentist

A stressful morning

Hello

So this morning ive had a nightmare of a time, Windows Service Package 3 or something was installed on my PC and well that meant Windows Movie Maker basically said 'Fuck off Ben' and only within the last 10 minutes have I got it sorted it only took me 3 hours =/

So over the weekend i've been filming for Great Yarmouth Tourism and the UK Volleyball Championships so I can make a few clips/videos to send away to the British Olimpic commity for 2012 I filmed for hours and got 40 minutes of footage which i imagine 30 minutes worth is use-worthy but it was a good event so I think it'll come out well.

I've got to sort out Tuesdays video about the Dentists tomorrow, im getting a little frustrated with the lack of support I get from some people, like its fine that people are busy during the summer, but i need a bit of help at the moment so if you could help out where you can that'll be great :)

I might start doing BlogTv shows on Mondays as thats the day when most people are about I think so yeah comment the blog or @reply me on twitter and let me know.

I'll try and blog every day for the rest of the summer but promises I try to keep with my blog just go wrong and I forget about things.

Benjy

The Doctors

yes

ITS WEDNESDAY

It's not actually that important as a day, I've not actually got much going on.
I did say I was going to blog about my holiday, but I might use it for a video so I won't reveal it now :D

I've set myself the challenge of getting 2000 subscribers by September so to help me do that I'm going to put up 2 videos a week only if I think the quality is good enough though, and the 3 Ive already wrote up are alright, and I've got 2 more ready to write as well actually no 3, yes I could have gone back and re typed that. :(

So Spain was good, really good, it was so hot though, the hottest day was 42 degrees C so it was a bit of a shock to come home to 16 lol.
We flew to Malaga which takes about 2 and a half hours, both flights there and back were OK. We went all around the Costa Del Sol which was cool, Feunguriola (I cant spell that), Mijas which was close to where we were staying, Purto Beunis, Rhonda and Gibraltar which was stunning, ill put some pictures on Facebook of the views and some monkeys!

I got sunburn on the first night, then developed a sore throat and a cold which was great :D I became grumpy but it didn't really spoil things, I just couldn't lie down and wearing t shirts really hurt lol Its finally today all healed :D
It was my first holiday with Elly which made it really special aswell :D im pretty sure it wont be the last :)

So to sum up expect to see lots more of me on Youtubes im still technically on a break lol

Speak sooooon
Benjy

I'll blog about my holiday soon

Day by Day account of what happened! :D

Hope you'll stay tuned, ill start tomorrow :)

Benjy

This deserves a blog on its own.

Rest in Peace

Michael Jackson

a blog full of numbers

So I just thought Id run you by some of the numbers I have concerning Youtube recently well since January.. just to show that it takes time to gain subscribers.

January - 62
February - 38
March - 149
April - 148
May - 360
June - 201

It's all about the snowball effect.

Since the turn of the year ive commented on over a 1000 profiles :D
I still love doing it!

Thank you all
I've got so many videos ready for August! :D I may even come back early. Ive got some insperation back :P

Ben

I only blog on Wednesdays it seems..

But that's most likely down to time, I have 3 hours on Wednesday mornings before college and so that sort of provides me with the time.

College is a strange place really, education in general is quite weird, how we all know where we are going at certain times, seeing people in corridors saying hello, when in reality you think that person is a bit of a dick.
The way people sort of eye each other up and mutter 'what the bloody hell is he/she wearing.' The way that word 'gay' is still used as an insult because people apparently still see it as wrong. For some reason there's some sort of hierarchy that nobody will speak of but you all know exists. I hate walking around college and seeing people sitting/standing around on their own, I'm really lucky to have Elly around and live only a bike ride away from college, people that live miles away must find it quite difficult.

People like I did just over a year ago see college as a chore like something they have to do rather than something they can go into a lesson work hard and enjoy the lesson. I'll be the first to admit as a student of education in general I've let myself down, I could have worked a lot harder but just didn't want to for what ever reason, I always behaved I wasn't one to sit at the back of the class throwing things been a twat etc, but I never worked as hard as I knew that I could. Its sad.

I guess I lacked drive, the way I was kept at school I imagine was that if i didn't go I wasn't aloud to play football at the weekend for my club, so it was either fine don't go to school but you cant play at the weekend. Football was my love, just my passion, when I look back Girlfriends and teen things like that never interested me, I'm not really one to go out and get smashed out of my head on alcohol because I don't want to spend money on a headache the next morning, I know Id have a good time but would it be worth it?

Do you ever get that weird feeling where you sit in a room on your own in a room and sigh at your own life? Just feel inept almost as if you don't belong? I did a lot last year when I wasn't doing anything productive with my life, yeah I worked a bit but nothing id consider pushing my life further on.
It really really really frustrates me that people outside of 'YouTube' don't 'get it' they just ask me why do you do it? or sarcastically say 'make a video about it.' to be honest i just laugh it off because its all a bit pedantic. All these cocky confident fronted people that are in those certain groups of colleges society in front of a camera talking about their life showing of there skills, or in my case trying to make people laugh.

Just once id love to see them try.

June 24th and I'm in a shoddy mood

So I'm having one of those 'im going to delete my youtube account' sort of moods.

Tonight im doing blogtv and most likely announce that it'll be my last one until August, so all the pea's will be there and it'll be really good fun! I hope...

But Ill post another video soon on my channel and then nothing til August, im just going to take a break from it all. I'll still be on skype to talk to and things like that but it's not that I feel overloaded by Youtube because I don't I have taken a big step away from it this year. Although I've enjoyed it loads this year gaining a 1000 subscribers, going to the gathering and all sorts was really good. I dont want this blog to become a sob story because its not but if one more person says 'You think your a Youtube celebrity but your not' im going to go mad. There is no such thing as a Youtube Celebrity they do not exist, what makes me a Youtube celebrity? The fact I go on blogtv alot and ask people to come along and chat? That I made a video rapping about the Youtube community and wanted it to do well? Im sorry if you think i'm a Youtube celebrity because your deluded.

I enjoy interacting with lots of people getting to know new people entertaining them in what ever way I can.
Its nothing to do with 'becoming famous'

So to sum up:
Last blogtv until August tonight
My next video will be my last until August

Anyway i've got to go reply to fan mail from all my Youtube fans, I might not reply as theres so many so dont be disappointed!

Finally if you have a problem with me, can you just tell me rather than just talk about me?

Benjy

YouTube Community Rap

I actually like it :)

I must blog more.

I predict Ive had that as a title for a blog before but I really should, I did go through a phase when I did it a lot and getting things out in the open does help with things but I guess recently I've not needed this as an output as everything has just been going really well.
But for those of you that read this you must care a little to what I have to say, so I might as well let you know.
I've done all my first year exams, in fact I finished last Friday and it feels good actually, having got that year which to be honest was very up and down out of the way. I'm back at college now which to be honest is good, Elly not really enjoying it already as all of a sudden I have gone from having 3 free blocks to 12, which means that obviously I'm not at college as much which consequently means I wont see her as much but we'll work round it. I'm currently only studying 2 subjects (Media and PE) that both have projects that interest me so it should be good fun. College is still a bit weird for me all of the 2ND years have left now (the year I was in at school) so a lot of friends have moved on to work or high education and University so for me more than most college feels quite empty. I just hope that me been this positive about work and college carries on into next year and I don't let the summer drain me. A year ago today I was a TOTALLY different person with things being so far away from what they are now its surreal for me. I have to say I love my life right now, everything good, obviously there are a few things that could change to improve it but I reckon that they'll come in time.

Moving onto the Interwebs.. Youtube is looking really positive my subscribers go up everyday by about 5 which is steady progress for me, which I like. It's weird that I value Youtube alot more now that I've taken a step back from it, I used to be to involved and you get caught up and burn out but looking at everything from a distance is fun. I've got a video to film tomorrow which will be really satisfying to make as I've always wanted to do something like it and well finally I am with a little help from a friend!

I WILL blog more I promise.

Benjy


P.S. If you do read my blog can you just comment to let me know, not because I want to know who reads but because I have no idea how many people do! Thank you folks :)

1000 subscribers!

Ahh well this is exciting!

I've been working for over a year to reach this! Finally its happened.

When I look back at been on YouTube its been really good! I've achieved some really cool things.
I was always quite shy up to the age of 15 with doing public speaking and reading out loud and things like that. But then towards the end of High School I became alot more chirpy and then the first year of college rolled around and I sort of hid away in some lessons and became more foolish in others. Left college started vlogging.

And wow does it do wonders. Its weird that you gain a sense of achievement a lot, almost every video in fact when you see a response from people its so nice that people take the time!
Ive joined a successfully and worthy collaboration channel with some really amazing people on it :)
I got featured! for a video I was so proud of
I get asked to take part it little projects here and there
Ive had really amazing blogtv shows recently
Been to gatherings around the country which has been great!
Which led to me meeting some brilliant people and some who are extremely talented.
I've gained so much from been around this 'Internet freaks' that are looked at as loser's by people in the 'mainstream'
I like to think Ive educated a few people in what our YouTube community really is, trying to make them understand things and show them people with talents for comedy, music or just have intelligent opinions on things and also the budding directors and film makers that our community as to offer!

Even Elly (Girlfriend) had no idea about YouTube, thought it was the place to watch music videos and funny clips of people falling over.
But we have so much more than that, Ive had moments of doubt about us but the tricks to YouTube are not to take it to seriously and just to enjoy it. Make videos for yourself don't try and target a group of people because you create your own unique group of people and well I have my tins of peas <3 who are amazing :)

Thank you all for subscribing :)

Ben x


I have a lovely girlfriend
A great family who care
Awesome college friends

And a whole other world which I need broadband to connect to....

Things are sweet :)

BlogTV

Someone people loath it some love it, im sort of in the middle, sometimes it can be really boring, watching someone for hours doing nothing..just waiting for something to happen. Some people prefer stickam, although Blogtv is so much more user friendly and faster, I used to find stickam so slow and lag was just common.

But last night I did about a 2 hour show on blogtv, I say show I NEVER plan anything just sit and chat and get idea's as they come to me, I don't really want to just sit there and ramble after all I want people to see a different side of me when doing it a more real side compared to the performance I put on in videos, which people that know me don't really understand and people that don't just think im always like that, but on blogtv im just myself!

Last night was great though my favourite show ive done ever, if you missed it, it consisted of...

Lex drunk.. she wasn't but it certainly seemed that way
Been rung 6 times and once
Trying to hang myself with an England scarf while Lex took over.. only for mother to walk in and just have the biggest look of distain possible on her face.
Playing headbandz with 40 people was amazing
Finding each other on Omegle.com which was painful and got boring as time went on but was fun at times :)
Talking to subscribers and friends for ages just about life in general
Discovering Elly was in the room :)


I just try to make it fun, and try to get people to ignore the fact they are wasting their time watching me :P

So if you were there last night THANK YOU, you made it very enjoyable.
And if you weren't then be there next time
www.blogtv.com/people/doctorbenjy

Benjy

Blogging

I really wish that i'd do it more, there was a time last year where I could do it so easily everyday just write about my day just getting things out in the open it was nice actually just unloading things I had on my mind onto here, not caring who read it or what people thought of it.
But I don't know I, look at my blog everyday just to check my blogroll and just think that I have so much in my head I could ramble about but just have the view of I can't be bothered.
I just dont think people would care, like this blog to be honest it's utterly pointless but just feel that I wanted to blog about something.

Like every blog ill decend into Youtubeness now,
So im doing well as far as people subscribing is concerned. in March and April i gained 100 subscribers in each month and i'd just like to keep that up to be honest, something I really enjoy doing although I often get back logged on it, is saying thank you to everyone that subscribes. I just like doing it and i not sure why, the reason I do it is because if people have the time to subscribe to me, I should have the time to say thanks. I'll always do it even if I ended up with 50,000 subscribers or whatever i'd still do it.
I was talking to a Youtuber recently actually and they said 'I dont know why you havent got more subscribers'
I know exactly why because im not arrogant enough in videos or im not bitchy enough in them. Or im simply not goodlooking and for some reason that is a big factor lol.

Anyway im off now to revise for a PE exam that I have on Tuesday, and I wish my mum and dad would stop saying Study Leave isnt a holiday, believe me IT IS!

The Weather

Make your bloody mind up, half the people at college today are in shorts thanks to your deceptive morning of sunshine but NOW! and specifically during my outdoor session of football this morning you decided to piss it down! Brilliant.
And now! as I have a hoody and trousers on you decide to beam sunlight in every direction.

Tomorrow I'm just doing to carry and umbrella around everywhere, OK maybe not the shower that may defeat the object.

Benjy

I have...

NEVER FELT SO IN LOVE

I do love my sister

She just handed me this card/letter. Its because we had a silly arguement about garden furniture.

x Sorry x (Front cover)

Love u always
Even if we have an arguement.

To Ben
I am sorry about what happened. I have given this to you because I love you AND i dont really want it. PTO

Love Beth

p.s. If Elly wants a bit she can only if its ok with you <3 :)

21st of April NOT BEDA

Hi Guys!

Right then, I've got college in half an hour, well that's when I have to get ready. I hope your all doing well. Ive been with Elly 7 months today! Good times.

So lets talk YouTube, Its becoming more and more apparent that I'm the favourite member of thelovehatesociety not because I actually am, but because I make videos!! LOL someone actually left a comment on my last Thursday video saying 'Your on the verge of been my favourite' ON THE VERGE, its like this person has a league table with us all on and you gain points for making a video. Ive still got to get money together to go to the most organised Youtube gathering EVER.

I'm struggling on coming up with idea's for a new video, I'm not sure whether to do a sketch, a rant or something bigger like my featured video. I've got like lots of little ideas but nothing that i really want to use.

Moving on to talk about college.
Well wow, OK well things were going shit. My attendance was low I wasn't enjoying it one bit. This was 3 months ago. I got put on dismissal. And well now its great, I'm handing all my work in on time and getting things planned ready to hand in, in advance. It's wierd that I put myself in a position that I saw college as a chore not an experience, but recently I've flipped that round and I'm trying to enjoy everyday I'm there. Im really lucky actually mainly because in my lesson's there aren't those people that you'd have in High School sitting at the back been a complete twat, yeah you'd laugh along to fit in but think in the long run, shut the fuck up. I never really have a dull lesson, i dont really allow it. I don't no why I sort of feel as if in some lessons I should take it upon myself to make it more lively. I quite like been the funny one, it might be hard when im down one day.

So yes lifes good, infact thinking about it really good, its not been this positive for a few years, im quite looking forward to finishing off this year, but then again i've not done my exams yet.

Back on to a Youtube issue. The site changes have done nothing to anyone to be honest. I think YouTube noted the reaction and bottled in and put it all on hold. Also a Youtuber I look/looked up to has frustrated me recently, he talks about how he whats someone as like a 'Youtube Assistant' to read his personal messages etc, how up your own arse do you have to be to say that. If I was him i'd be thriving on reading peoples thoughts etc. Its not about managing time its about making that time worth while. This person went down in my estimation (If you clever you'll know straight away who this is)

We're so lazy as a country we always want things spoon feed to us, and that is a perfect example. Im not perfect I could do a lot more for myself and the people around me but it's about progression of be able to adjust.

Right im done i have to go to college now it's nice having a free first period though :)

Speak soon

Benjy

I FOUND MYSELF ON OMEGLE

I must be the first person to do this ever!!

Stupid women on facebook

I was browsing the groups on facebook and came across one thats called something along the lines of, 'We wont use facebook if they charge us'

Scroll down to the wall posts and I find this..
'i will sue if we have 2 pay for this site cuz that is bull cr@p'


She's going to sue facebook for giving her the option to pay?

Idiot

This is the sort of thing that makes me want to hit a middle aged american women GRRR



Benjy

Saturday before Easter

Hello to those of you that still note that I have a blog :)

It's been a long time since I've written on here to be honest. Things have been going well with me though, I have successfully had a great few weeks at college although I'm currently on my Easter holiday which is the first holiday in a long time that i deserve! I worked my arse off during the last 2 months at college to get everything back on track. And it is. I'm alot more positive going into to exams soon than I would have been a few months ago.
For those of you that don't already know and have an interest i study Science, Sports Coaching, Media Studies and PE. All are good fun with lots of good people in :)

Things with Elly are going amazingly well, I'm just a happy bunny, I might make a video or just blog something about relationships soon I really don't know how comfortable I would be doing so.
I've lost so much in the last few years and gained only recently things I previously had, theres lots of things still missing, like my active role in Sport has decreased alot the fact I was doing something amazing for a year without anyone even knowing due to the fact I couldn't let them (far to complicated to explain).

I gained lots of new friends over the last few months friends that I wouldn't have come into contact with unless I'd made silly decision's in my past.
Although I believe its not about the decision's you make, and that its more what about what you do after the decision.
YouTube over the last few months has been going brilliantly.
For some people my subscriber count isn't alot, there's fine because to me it is!
In March I gained over 150 new subscribers and already in April im over 70. I find it quite funny that people used to say.. 'it takes a long time to gain a good number of subscribers' i used to think yes and you can say that because you have them, but they're right.

My Dad's just pissed me off, he can be so insentive making asumptions that just aren't fair! grrrrr nevermind.

Right so that's all, im ill at the moment which is a slight pain had a weird rough night.
Speak sooner rather than later im sure

Benjy

Youtube

You killed Thursday for me today!

Subscription box nightmare! grrrr

VLOG 1

Enjoy :)

April the 5th a day of wonderful things....maybe

So i'm currently sitting in the living room of my cousin's house with Elly, its the second time shes come to Lincoln with my family and well its just lovely :)
So lets talk Youtube,
In the month of March i gained well over 140 subscribers which got me past my goal of 500 and Im now at 610 as I write this, thats amazing! Im actually really pleased that, that many people would take the time and even find out about me, alot of this goes down to Barry Aldridge and TheLoveHateSociety which im very grateful for.
Im starting to get more hater's! I say more its the occasional one though, giving me abuse................... I LOVE IT!
The fact they think for atleast 10 minutes coming up with something witty is genius. Then I reply and they never have a comeback which to be honest upsets me slightly.

In other news I promised people that I'd vlog everyday this week which is very possible but the fact I can't be bothered and im a bit limited with material is a problem but we'll see what happens anyway. I also intend to finish the sharing series this month after a 6 month absence of that, people have probaly forgotten about it all.
Ok so i've got to go now and be part of the family chat.

Speak soon
Benjy.

A funny story about a 2 of clubs

It involves Me and Elly and it was quite humorous hopefully you'll find it quite entertaining and its not one of those 'You had to be there' moments.

We were playing Rummy (card game)

And Elly picked up the 2 of Clubs...

Ben: Has that card helped you?
Elly: Nah its just a safety card really (safety as in, to help her win another way from her current plan)
Ben: Safety card lol?
Elly: Yeah
Ben: That's good because I was worried what i'd do if a burglar came in but now i know to hind behind your safety card
Elly: LOL
Ben: If it floods will just hop on your safety card everthing will be fine. AHHH he's got a gun! get behind the safety card!

More lols happened but I have a fear of over kill!


On another note me and Elly are watching The Sex Education show vs Pornography did they really need to say 'This show contains scenes of a sexual nature and sexual references' if it didn't id be more likely to complain, also they just mentioned BLIND PORN. If you get the call to do blind porn, it cant be a good day in your life.
Agent: I've got you a job
Pornstar: Yeah, tell me more??
Agent: its paid, COUGH and for the blind COUGH
Pornstar: dies inside.


Thanks for reading :)

1 year on.

It was my YouTube birthday yesterday, I was going to make a video but decided against the idea as I think those videos are sort of boring to watch and didn't really have the time or effort required to do it and make it look good. But I've got just over an hour before I have to get up for college as I have a free period first which is lovely.

So whats happened in my first year of been on YouTube well for those of you that don't know I'm going to summarise.
Well when I came to YouTube I didn't know what there was a community although Youstaged was what brought me in, I can't actually remember the day when I said im going to be a YouTuber maybe I never did.
But I joined Stickam and made a few friends on there and started developing subscribers which looking back is quite surprising because my videos were of a less than average quality and I don't know if those people watch me now.
I spoke to people a lot more such as Jade Darren Pav Jess Rory and so many more and all of them were so lovely :) and still are.
Because I wasn't in education I didn't have much to do in life, so made video's, I can safely say that if I didn't drop out of college then I wouldn't be on YouTube, but now I am back at college and enjoying it and can be on Youtube at the same time.
Things scuttled round to May and I went to my first gathering which i'll never forget it was so brilliant, I went to Jess' house and met Johnny and Spencer, who I wish I spoke to more! We travelled down to London and went to NSG's house, NSG is still the Youtuber I respect the most, mainly due to the fact he's the most honest Youtuber I've ever met, not to say that the others are all lier's! just that the thing that hits you with him is his personality been pure.
Anyway that was on a Saturday and on the Sunday I was featured! =O
The proudest moment of my time on the site, seeing my video on the front page.
A day i'll never forget when Johnny rang me to tell me and everyone saying well done down the phone! so amazing.

Then I went to more gatherings that were cool, Youstage rocked round where I got closer to lots more people and met some amazing ones, Georgie, Brooke, Tino, Myles Rory, Lewis and ahhhhh so many more that just made Youtube a place to treasure.
I had a bit of a moment at Youstage that I won't revisit and also had my 18th! which was soo cool, been with so many people that i'd met just that weekend all singing Happy Birthday etc is just =D

Admitedly after Youstage things went downhill for me a bit as far as Youtube was concerned I had college to keep me busy and become a concern. So took a break.

October brought the Chris Lomas gathering which was the last one I went to actually, I intend on going to 2 gathering's this year TheLoveHateSociety one and another I'm not sure about yet. The Lomas one was really good actually, I hung out with Dan a lot, who I dont know who reads this but he's cool. lol
Talked to more people and got to know people a lot better, met Jazza who I admire a lot. just lots of people that are so easy to talk to.

Since then I was quite inactive until February when I sort of stopped my 2 month break and made lots of videos at once. Im now on 530 subscribers and thank you to Barry and thelovehatesociety for getting me up to that 1000 is the next target, and i'd love to get it by the end of May, its possible I reckon. Lets see where Youtube takes me next.

Thank you for been part of my journey without Youtube I wouldn't have met you wierd internet types that I got addicted to. I was never like this, able to be more diverse and look at what people do from a different angle, I think the world should be forced to vlog it would be a better more open place.

Good Morning (if your reading this in a morning)

Sup dudes!
ill never say that ever again.
Yeah so today is Elly's Birthday! shes coming round later but in the meanwhile I'm going to talk about life.
So this last weeks been really good as far as college has been concerned I went the whole week without missing a lesson at college making my first ever 100% college week, now for a lot of people that's not that impressive but for anyone that knows me well, that's amazing for me! lol
College things are on the up, I handed in lots of coursework this week and I'm on top of the work I need to hand in this Friday. Things are looking up!

I've got some good videos for March in the pipeline and I'll film them when I find the time, I'm really enjoying life at the moment, a few weeks months ago I was quite low about things not getting up for college, not doing work, been generally unpleasant and giving people a bit of grief for no reason. But over the last month actually things have been good and for those of you that like Elly updates lol, things are amazingly good =D

In fact lets talk about me and females.
People often say, ooo I was in love with them, and at the time you believe you are because you are a bit naive, now I was one of those people, I'd tell someone that and myself believe it, but I wasn't. I liked girls a lot although never as much as I thought. But this time I've found a girl that I can just make happy and there's no stupid little high school issue's. I was always really shy, never really had time for women to be honest, id rather play football every weekend.

OK I started this at half 10, its now 13.15 lol and I'm continuing, I went downstairs to start the meal I'm doing for Elly tonight =D I'm such a nice boyfriend sometimes =D but she deserves it tbh.

Right I'm done. I could have wrote lots more in this blog but I shall save it for later :)

Speak soon
Ben

Goals

To have passed my Science
To get put on another SPACE course. Coaching for you none sport types =D lol
To secure myself a summer job
To make sure Elly has a lovely birthday =D
To make sure all my coursework is up to date
To make sure I have an above 92% average attendence for the month
To get 500 youtube subscribers. Help? lol
To make atleast 2 amazing videos!
To smile more
To make sure that I keep an open mind
To lose weight
To take the Mcfly posters down from my wall that I put up for a lovehate video


All this by the end of March! wooooooop wish me luck guys and girls!

Benjy

Hello Again.

Remember this blog...?

So it's been a while hasn't it. It was the middle of January when I properly did a blog spoke about my feelings let things out. and Well the last 3 months this blogs been inactive, I check in everyday to look at the people I take an interest in and see if they've updated but as far as myself writing on here, i havent. I've have lots to talk about, but just haven't.

Right then you may or may not have been wondering whats been going on in my life, this blog is going to be quite long i think so bare with it you may just learn something.

So i'm going to start from January the 1st although I imagine ill have spoken about in previously but it was a while ago so im going to jog my memory aswell as yours.

So January, well it started off really well I had New Year in Lincoln with Elly and family and it was a lovely time had by all. Me and Elly went to London aswell, I was going to blog about it but ended up not doing as we didnt do anything although it was one of the best days out ive ever had with anyone. In the middle of January I did a mini rant about Youtube community and how it was falling apart etc, i've moved on from that, just to be clear, I no longer have a problem with anyone each to their own and people are and always have been free to do what they like, its just a website but its alot like High School people will know what I mean. Anyway that issue has gone.

I felt uninspired for abit, just didnt care gave up if you like. i had just over a month off then came back, made 3 videos and enjoyed editing them etc, was good funs, also I love making videos for thelovehatesociety I like a different audience and it gives me an objective plus its nice been on a channel with 6 people I respect and like :)

Lets talk about College so for those of you that don't know, last year I went to college and by the time we got to February I didnt enjoy it and wanted to leave, so did, i wasnt concentrating in classes basically gave up on education didnt really have a reason to be there choose the wrong subjects and to much going on elsewhere and my attendence was terrible
BUT.
This year I went back within the first week met Elly who i've been with ever since and im in classes with people I actually like I can be myself abit more which is nice.
Recently I've let my attendence slip abit which is mainly because im to lazy to go in some days and dont like buses! lol also ive been ill recently had toothache but things built up and Im now on Dismissal, that basically means if i miss another lesson until easter then ill be asked to leave the college and banished forever never to return again, which would be shit. Sooo im not letting that happen, im focusing abit better and looking forward to been there to complete the year.
Also on the friday just gone I passed my Level 1 badminton coaching award which is really rather good =D


That sort of brings me to now, other things have happened but thats all I can think of at the moment.

Thank you to all of those people that help me with things when I get bugged about stupid things or just listen, and to all of those people from Youtube and Home life that ive fell out of touch with in the last few months im sorry, I'll be making an effort to talk to you all again soon, i hope you'll talk back =D

Speak Soon
Benjy

Carpark's and vending machines

Next video is about Phobia's
Benjy

Inspired again.

I don't know how or why or when.
But yesterday i started scripting videos, and the material is quite good.
(I never think my materials that good)

I'm back then it seems, although a lot of people said I never went away.

Lets hope this carrys on.

Speak Soon
Benjy

UnInspired

I understand the title has to many capitals.

I just dont care at the moment, I don't no what I want at the moment the only thing I can 100% say im happy with right now is been with my girlfriend Elly.

Shes in Amsterdam at the moment which is abit sad as I miss her at the moment.
Mums gone to Leeds to see my Grandma who's having a kidney Op this week.
And college is a bit boring dull pointless. And to be honest I dont like been there at the moment, this happened last year, just alot worse. I hope it will all pass sooner rather than later because I know i need to be there.

Youtube to me is a distraction, a distraction that isn't needed at the current time. Ive views on certain things that I'm not going to talk about right now.
Stickam and BlogTv died for me, dont find them interesting anymore. I was going to do a show tonight but thought nobody would come so why bother sitting there talking to yourself.

You know what I dont know what to write from now on so I guess ill stop there.

I Love Yahoo Answers

Someone just asked this question.

'Any Ideas What To Get A Boy For Valentines Day??Help Please=]?'

My mature and honest reply was this......

'Boys secretly love tables, my girlfriend got me one once I was so pleased with it, the wood was of excellent quality. I still eat my tea on it today.

Best gift I have EVER recieved

Go for the table its the right choice.

Good luck'

Is it wrong that i gain pleasure from this!

London

I went there yesterday,
Hope the people that went to Sheffield had a good time!

Ill right more later im soooo tired.

Benjy

You'll have noticed.

My Youtube page is different all of a scary sudden.
http://www.youtube.com/DoctorBenjy

I've not privated my videos just not made them harder to click on.

Im fed up, fed up with Youtube, everything in my life is fine, there's just this hanging pain in the backside.
People on this site are so fake, you fall for them at certain points, fall for there chat the way they act etc, its stupid. People at college just think Youtube is for mad Britney fans and music videos. And before i've tried to tell them all about our wonderful community and what we stand for. But, what community.
There isnt really one in my opinion. There's people that have met and developed friendship.
I can call a few people friends.

'a group of people living in a particular local area; "the team is drawn from all parts of the community" '

The definition of community there ^
Now we dont have a community we skipped a bit, we have a team drawn from people that have more subscribers than one person *who i wont name but if you know me you know who* if you dont have more subscribers than this person then actually, you dont matter apparantly.

I dont give a shit about subscribers. When i say that i dont mean, o people that subscriber are twats, i mean i dont care if i have 100,000 or 10 my videos would be the same. I try to entertain. People get so obsessed over how many they have etc. Why?
What can you do with subscribers? I can do more with a pound coin than I can with 394 subscribers.

If your subscribed to me you'll know that i'll leave you a message saying thank you, I do it for everyone that subscribe's. But because if they have the time to click a button, then i can press a few in thanks right?

People on Youtube need to look at who there trying to be and who they really are.

Benjy

11th January 2009 - Why does TV do this.

TV annoys me.

For the whole week leading up to Sunday i've made the effort to watch about 3 programmes if that. So what happens tonight, they put on 5 films i'd make time to watch at once? Why!?

So i choose to flick between 7 channels yes 7!

Right now its Celeb Big Brother what a load of wank LOL bless them all without careers =P

So im going to settle down and watch it.

O and, I put up my new video today! its gone down really well, better than expected :)
Thank you to people that have rated commented and even FAVOURITED it means lots.

Speak Soon
Benjy

10th January 2009 - Saturday!

Yo
OK I'm going to bed after this, its 3am, i never stay up this late, well not for atleast 4 months! Its strange lol.

So today, I got up listened to Fighting Talk, filmed a video called, DoctorBenjy: The Man Behind the Camera. My dad thinks its funny, always a good start! lol

Hope that you enjoy it when I upload it tomorrow.
You'll be reading this on Sunday, it will be uploaded! GO TO www.youtube.com/doctorbenjy go go go.

I went out tonight with the boysssss which was lovely, the came home and spoke to elly on the phone for about an hour. Up and Down call tbh, but we sorted everything that needed sorting but OMG, last night we had the same dream, just replacing ourselves with each other, Fooking wierd! SO :S at the time she was saying it was like OMG WTF i had this dream. Wierder because i told me dad about it a few hours earlier strange. I Love Her. let this be known. like you didnt know already :P
She doesnt read this so i can say what i like on it lol

Right best be off
Speak Soon

Benjy x

Im not obsessed

Im not! =[

9th January 2009 - Day 1 begins.

OK,
So in a recent video, I think it was the christmas one I promised to blog everyday of 2009, ok that didnt work out. As im starting on the 9th. But I will try do it everyday from now talking about things that happen in my day and things that are on my mind.

Revising!
Im shit at it, i've got a Science exam next monday and well ill revise that morning and briefly the night before, only once my dad hsa taken my laptop away and ill have no choice but to revise.
If anyone has any tips on how to send me a message on here or Youtube, anything original would be worth while.

So We start thelovehatesociety soon, im looking forward to it all =D

Should be really good fun, the best part for me is that the people involved are all really lovely and people I can look up to on Youtube, im not sucking up to them all, i just think that they are all very nice people that for me make Youtube alot more friendly and worth while, the support we've had for the channel is really really good, if we can reach 1000 subscribers soon that'd amazing TBH!

Something that I want to do soon that i've wanted to do for a while is do a Jimmy0010 styled video (omg he privated lots of his videos this made me and my girlfriend very sad) a while back when he was breaking into Youtube fame he did a video, called Jimmy0010 the Documentery i think, and well i loved it. He did it in a very Ricky Gervais style something that I also try to copy something and well its something I also want to do. So expect that video maybe this weekend WHO KNOWS!
JIMMY UNPRIVATE IT!

I just hope I can pull it off like he did.

Other video's I want to do are going to involve short sketches, (I know i've part 5 of the sharing series to upload but I cant upload something thats not been filmed yet, blame Jones.... and me)

Widescreen, ive not yet spoken about this as last month everyone in the world it seemed had an opinion on it and well. My opinion is that...
I dont know how to use it so in my view DOESNT MATTER. I dont really think that the bars on the side make a difference?
My videos arent in widescreen and this means my LoveHate videos wont be in widescreen, what a dissappoint that will be!

The first of many blogs I hope this year. Tune in for more.

Favourite the blog
Tag it
Add to your google reader if you like.

Speak Soon

Benjy x

Happy New Year

Hello!
Long time no blog for me really, i've been having an illness bug for a while which ive still got the cough from which is a pain, but its slowly dieing, the cough not me!

I had a lovely New Year maybe my best and my first with Elly =D

She woke me up this morning which was lovely, not in a sexual way, IM NOT AN ANIMAL I slept downstairs cause im such a gent ;)

So this morning we are heading to Lincoln to have a big family do + Elly which is quite exciting, Good luck Elly as my family can be crazy at times but always sensible, they prove you dont need drink to have a good time.

Ill be home tomorrow but should be a good day with Daddies party games and all :P

Right I'll speak soon lots of amazing things are going to happen this year i can feel it!

Speak Soon
Benjy

Hope you all have the year that your hoping for.

Love from Benjy x

And if i didnt wish you merry christmas, I hope you had a good day :)